With baseball season ended, Los Hermanos Mitt are finding they don’t have much to do until DadMitt gets elected Supreme AmericaGod Prime and they can start cashing in, so they’ve been killing time surfing on the internets at hotmormongirlsdrinkingRedBullandswearing.com and also at YouTube because, quite frankly, they’re getting tired of driving around in the fucking MittMobile, talking to the fucking yokels, and faking admiration for their fucking Worlds Largest Screen Door or Worlds Largest something-the-fuck-or-another that people living in these fucking podunk towns build in the futile hope that a tourist might stop and take a picture of it and then might be convinced to help them escape from their smalltown hellhole of boredom, Sams Club, and American gothic existential horror before they go into the barn one gray and unrelenting afternoon with a rope and a footstool, praying that God will forgive them…

Next week the boys will be in Dyersville to see the Worlds Largest Water Heater.

The horror…the horror…