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Late Late Nite FDL: Hate on Me, Hater

Some of you may not know what ProTools is. It’s a digital music-recording system that has all kinds of amazing applications and which has completely changed the way people record music. Unfortunately, it has given rise to the flagrant overuse of something called Auto-Tune, a program that a lot of studio types use to bolster the less-than-stellar vocal talents of certain modern pop-tarts because it can be used to pitch-correct a wobbly intonation (even on the fly in live performance), push a singer’s voice up to high notes that it would otherwise never reach, and flesh out anemic performances in the studio.

It is to music producers what PhotoShop is to magazine editors. It’s cheating. And without it, Britney Spears would never have managed to croak and squeal her way beyond syndicated re-runs of the Mouseketeer Club, let alone become the reigning pop trainwreck of our time.

And just like real women have curves and the occasional unflattering angle, real singers have voices that are sweaty, visceral, sometimes gritty, sometimes silken. It’s the sound of real vocal cords working that ProTools and Auto-Tune simply can’t provide, and it’s that quality that Jill Scott has by the bucket-full.

All hail the new Queen of Soul.

I’d like to dedicate this track to Rush, Bill-O, Michelle MalKKKin, and all the rest of the ideological fluke worms lodged in the vast colon of the Right Wing Hate Industry.

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TRex is a 60-million-year-old theropod who enjoys terrorizing trailer parks, stomping his enemies, and eating things that get in his way or annoy him. He is single and looking for a new boyfriend. He's 60 feet tall, green, with delicate forelimbs, large, sharp teeth, and a lengthy tail. Turn-ons include political activism, bashing conservatives, and volcanoes. Turn-offs are vegetarians, right-wing blogs, and killer asteroids.