Come Saturday Morning: Lying Sacks of… Well, You Know
I’m trying to clean up my act and talk like a lady instead of like a foulmouthed femblogger, but there are occasions when you just have to call a lying sack a lying sack. This particular week seems to have been just chock-full of lying-sackery. Here are a few choice examples:
— The “I’d Hit You But What You’re Made Of Splatters” Award goes to that arch-sack and current godbothering “family values” presidential candidate Mike
Fu Huckabee. As Kossack arogue7 notes, Huckabee, aided and abetted by the right-wing noise machine, pretended that Wayne Dumond, a guy who’d violently raped a female relative of Bill Clinton’s, was actually a poor widdle innocent victim of The Evil Clinton Conspiracy, and so had Dumond freed; the “innocent” Dumond then went on to savagely attack and murder another woman.
Now, all of this alone would be enough to guarantee Huckabee lifetime Gold Card membership in the Lying Bleepsack Hall of Fame, but now the sick bleep is upping the ante: He’s blaming BILL CLINTON for all of this! I swear to God, the bastard knows that the national media — which unquestioningly broadcasted and printed every goddamned bullbleep anti-Kerry “Swift Boat” smear by Jerome Corsi and Company — is going to give him a bleeping free pass on this, and they will ignore the copious reporting that shows just how hard he and his buddies pushed to have Dumond freed, just to shove a stick in Bill Clinton’s eye and further hurt an already-traumatized woman. Bleepity bleep bleep bleep. “Family Values” my ass.
— The “I Promise To Lie Out My Ass” Award goes to another prominent Republican sack, Rudy “Wrap Myself In The Flag And Burn The Constitution” Giuliani, who when caught lying about health care never apologized and never explained, but instead promised to keep telling the same lie because (like Huckabee) he figures that the US corporate GOP/Media Complex won’t really challenge him hard on it, if at all. Which brings us to our next dishonoree:
— The “Lying Is OK If You’re A Republican Or Helping Republicans” Award goes to the Dean of High Washington Bullbleep, David Effing Broder himself, who is now lying as fast as he can about Social Security. Really, this shouldn’t surprise anyone. As Atrios mentioned the other day:
From 1969 to 1993 there was almost uninterrupted Republican dominance of Washington. And by dominance I don’t just mean control of the levers of power, but dominance of the social circle and the village customs. Carter was a brief aberration, and he was treated similarly as some out of town freak.
We’ve learned that the Villagers don’t mind lies as long as they’re in on them, don’t mind criminal behavior as long as it’s done by their pals, and don’t mind jawdropping levels of corruption as long as everyone’s getting along nicely while munching on quail at David Broder’s place. They don’t like outsiders, and the Clintons were outsiders.
The same will go for whichever Democrat wins the White House next year. There will be no cutting of slack, no nearly-perpetual honeymoon as there is whenever a Republican is in the White House. (The only reason the press turned against Bush Senior is because of the one decent thing he did, which was to undo some of Reagan’s tax cuts. Shows you what their priorities are.)
Now pardon me while I go somewhere to hose off all this bleep.