Pitch Meeting

Special Ed goes Full Metal Weinstein and tells us what America (and by “America”, he means, “Ed”) would like to see on its silver screens:

We’re not through the Valley of Ennui yet. For an industry that studiously avoided the war for five years, if you’ll pardon the pun, Hollywood has given us a glut in 2007. Coming up will be Lions for Lambs, a film that trailers suggest features Tom Cruise and Robert Redford making speeches at each other. Redacted comes out in December, although its Cannes screening has already created controversy over Brian DePalma’s heavy-handed treatment. John Cusack will indulge his well-known political views in Grace is Gone next month.

With all of these agenda films, one might think Hollywood could produce some balance. Why not make a movie about Sgt. Paul Smith, who gave his life for his comrades in Baghdad? A film about the heroism of Lt. Michael Murphy might make for a stirring motion picture. Americans might want to see the stories of Medal of Honor recipients. They obviously don’t have much interest in sitting through lectures by Hollywood celebrities.

You know it seems like only yesterday when conservatives were touting the thrills and chills and greatness” of The Great Raid which crapped out at $10 million, so you’ll excuse Hollywood if they refuse to take a meeting with the simple salt of the earth folks who know a good movie if and when they leave the comfort of their home to go see one. Message movies rarely make big bank at the box office, that’s reserved for vampires, kid flicks, and big budget explodey movies, so, really, let’s quit pretending otherwise.

But if it’s American heroism and sacrifice that Ed wants, we’ve got just the story for him. It’s about an all-American boy who walks away from the glamorous life as a professional athlete to fight for his country after 9/11, who becomes disillusioned after we invaded Iraq . Later, while fighting in Afghanistan, he is killed by friendly fire and the Pentagon begins a massive cover-up because they still need him as symbol of the aforementioned American heroism and sacrifice. The working title is :

“This War Is So Fucking Illegal”

I predict boffo boxoffice, but only because it has cursing and explosions in it.

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....