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Late Nite FDL: All Work and No Play Makes Jonah Even Duller to the Point of Redundancy

back to work jonahLOLcon from Sadly, No!

Roger Ailes alerts us to the fact that the release date for Jonah Goldberg’s new book has been pushed back again.

You’ve probably seen that the Doughy Pantload’s publisher has pushed back the release date of the ‘Load’s masterpiece, Dearest Adolf: A Love Story. It now comes out on Elvis Presley’s birthdate, (and will probably die on the toilet much sooner than did the King).

If you bear in mind that the original release date on this thing was, like, somewhere back when Ari Fleischer was still White House Press Secretary, and that the publisher’s description of it has changed more often than Ann Coulter changes her underwear, well, I’m starting to have some grave misgivings about Jonah’s future in the literary arts. Perhaps he should take up bamboo whittling or maybe write a lengthy discourse about the difference between Krystal burgers and White Castle, or, well, something more suited to his intellectual heft.

A 450 page screed about the metaphysical and political subtext of “Minesweep”?

A scholarly work on the impact of Krispy Kreme donuts on the nation’s economic fortunes?

Sadly, no.

Jonah seems determined to get as far out of his depth as possible with this new book. It alleges that the same forces that drove Hitler and Mussolini to power are the very forces that drive the modern progressive movement. It’s tacky, yes, and it’s nothing that Bill O’Reilly isn’t already doing on a daily basis, but it’s the only idea he’s had in the last five years, so come hell or high water, that’s the book that Jonah’s writing.


Roger A:

Wait, what were we talking about again?

We often forget, for example, that Mussolini and Hitler had many admirers in the United States.

Oh, no. I never forget a Bush.

Fascism was an international movement that appeared in different forms in different countries, depending on the vagaries of national culture and temperament. In Germany, fascism appeared as genocidal racist nationalism. In America, it took a “friendlier,” more liberal form. The modern heirs of this “friendly fascist” tradition include the New York Times, the Democratic Party, the Ivy League professoriate, and the liberals of Hollywood. The quintessential Liberal Fascist isn’t an SS storm trooper; it is a female grade school teacher with an education degree from Brown or Swarthmore.

Now it becomes clear. The ‘Load is still licking his wounds from all the times he was shot down in his community college days, but he’ll show those stuck-up bitches.

God, could we please just once in human history get a single right wing pundit who isn’t being driven solely by their deep-seated, mommy-hating, Freudian train-wreck of psycho-sexual damage?


Some provocative research covered by the Chicago Tribune has proposed that the brains of liberals and conservatives work differently. David Amodio, the primary investigator, found that the anterior cingulate cortex for liberals performs differently, allowing them to think more flexibly.

The work grew out of decades of previous research suggesting that political orientation is linked to certain personality traits or styles of thinking. A review of that research published in 2003 found that conservatives tend to be more rigid and closed-minded, less tolerant of ambiguity and less open to new experiences.

Oh, that’s riiiiiiiight. It’s so easy to forget sometimes that Conservatism is a form of learning disability, an inability to think or cogitate anything beyond the tip of one’s trust fund. Tsk. Tsk.

Still, even with that cornucopia of excuses, you’d think Jonah could at least finish the damn book so we can rip it to shreds the moment it sees the light of day. Roger? Final thoughts?

Apart from the blatant faslehoods in the publisher’s synposis (undoubtedly derived from the ‘Load’s book), it seems the Pantload’s argument boils down to “anything I don’t like is fascism, and here’s a reference to Hitler I found on the ‘net which proves it.” I’m sure the ‘Load would claim his analysis is more nuanced, but his own publisher doesn’t seem to agree.

Goldberg hasn’t forgotten what fascism is; he never knew.

That’s what you get from the Wingnut educational system, all those exclusive prep schools and ruinously expensive little private colleges. You can spend all the money on tuition you want, but the old adage holds true:

Garbage in, garbage out.

Good luck, Jonah! We’re all poised here to tear your heart’s work into little inch-wide strips and scatter it to the four winds. Come on, don’t be shy. The disintegration of Michelle Malkin is only going to amuse us for so long.

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TRex is a 60-million-year-old theropod who enjoys terrorizing trailer parks, stomping his enemies, and eating things that get in his way or annoy him. He is single and looking for a new boyfriend. He's 60 feet tall, green, with delicate forelimbs, large, sharp teeth, and a lengthy tail. Turn-ons include political activism, bashing conservatives, and volcanoes. Turn-offs are vegetarians, right-wing blogs, and killer asteroids.