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Late Nite FDL: A Simple Plan

stalkin’ malkin(stalkin’ malkin by darkblack)

The Mahablog alerts us to Michelle Malkin’s advice to the Frost family:

I don’t know what mortgage load the Frost’s are carrying, but we can guess they have about $200,000 in equity in their home. So, in order to qualify for aid, Michelle wants them to sell their home and everything else they can liquefy, move into a cardboard box, and then apply for aid once the $200,000 is gone, which these days would take about six months. We’ll destroy any chance they had of clinging to middle-class status, make sure they are permanently destitute, and then help them. OK.

Does anyone on the Right ever, you know, think?

Ha-ha! No.

I have a better idea. Rather than divest themselves of their home and business (thereby depriving themselves of a means to make a living at all), the Frost family should just sell off a couple of their four children.

No, really! Wait! Where’s everybody going? Don’t be such a bunch of squeamish “libtards”. It’s the ultimate free market solution!

Given the wide variety of black market options, the Frost family could at least show a little old fashioned American gumption and let one or two of their kids go and turn a hefty profit in the process. We don’t hear much about it so much here in the U.S., but there is a thriving global market in human beings and their component parts.

National Geographic says it’s a simple matter of supply and demand:

In most of the world, laws specifically ban the sale of organs. U.S. law, for example, prohibits any “valuable consideration” resulting from an organ donation.

But with demand so high, many have attempted to profit by selling organs such as kidneys, obtained from living donors tempted to give up their “spare” organs for cash.

In December 2003, police in South Africa and in Brazil broke up an international ring trafficking in human kidneys. The racket also involved people in Israel—and possibly even further afield.

There’s even a “kidney village” in South Africa, so-called because so many of its inhabitants have sold a kidney in order to keep themselves and their families afloat for another year. See? That’s how you do it. There’s no “socialist patsies” waiting for the government to give them handouts in that town. Those people know the power of capitalism, by god.

Kidneys are profitable, but even more lucrative is the market in livers:

PAUL Lee got his liver from an executed Chinese prisoner; Karam in Egypt bought a kidney for his sister for £2,600; in Istanbul Hakan is holding out for £15,200 for one of his kidneys.

They are not so unusual: recent figures from the World Health Organisation show a serious shortage of donated organs in richer countries is sending foreigners with end-stage illnesses to poorer places like China, Pakistan, Turkey, Egypt, Colombia and the Philippines to buy a new lease of life.

One Russian grandmother cleverly sought to supplement her pension check by putting her five year old grandson up for sale. See, a child’s liver can be transplanted into an adult and it will rapidly grow and begin to function just as well as an adult one. The slaughtered child is left to expire on a back-room operating table somewhere, of course, but some rich person gets a whole new lease on life, and isn’t that what capitalism is all about? It’s quite the lucrative business:

Organ harvesting operations flourish in Turkey, in central Europe, mainly in the Czech Republic, and in the Caucasus, mainly in Georgia. They operate on Turkish, Moldovan, Russian, Ukrainian, Belarusian, Romanian, Bosnian, Kosovar, Macedonian, Albanian and assorted east European donors.

They remove kidneys, lungs, pieces of liver, even corneas, bones, tendons, heart valves, skin and other sellable human bits. The organs are kept in cold storage and air lifted to illegal distribution centers in the United States, Germany, Scandinavia, the United Kingdom, Israel, South Africa, and other rich, industrialized locales. It gives “brain drain” a new, spine chilling, meaning.

Come on, Mr. and Mrs. Frost. You need money to insure your family? Just sell one of those kids. You’ve got three more. And if you’re too squeamish to surrender your child for vivisection and organ harvesting, you can always take advantage of the burgeoning human slave trade.


Trafficking in children is a global problem affecting large numbers of children. Some estimates have as many as 1.2 million children being trafficked every year. There is a demand for trafficked children as cheap labour or for sexual exploitation. Children and their families are often unaware of the dangers of trafficking, believing that better employment and lives lie in other countries.

Gemma and Graeme Frost may have some brain damage, but that shouldn’t preclude them from simple menial tasks or even the child sex trade. The Frost family just haven’t fully explored their options here, which I guess is typical of us on The Loony Left, who would rather sit around and wait for the government to take care of us than to get off our sentimental, self-pitying hippie asses and take advantage of the amazing opportunities that the free market offers each and every one of us.

Really, it’s the ultimate Republican solution. You turn a profit by drowning your conscience and humanity in the bathtub and hey, no embryos are harmed in the process! It’s a total win-win situation.

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TRex is a 60-million-year-old theropod who enjoys terrorizing trailer parks, stomping his enemies, and eating things that get in his way or annoy him. He is single and looking for a new boyfriend. He's 60 feet tall, green, with delicate forelimbs, large, sharp teeth, and a lengthy tail. Turn-ons include political activism, bashing conservatives, and volcanoes. Turn-offs are vegetarians, right-wing blogs, and killer asteroids.