The Red State Wolverines

Red State’s Ben Domenech, the home-schooled blogger who spectacularly flamed-out when it was discovered that PJ O’Rourke and a bunch of film critics had written all of Ben’s best stuff before he could get around to writing it (and let’s cut Ben some slack since he was obviously home sick the day his mom covered ethics and not copying other people’s shit), is exhorting his fellow conservatives to get out there and “kick some butt” just like the high school football team that Ben never played on might have done because Ben thinks he played quarterback and won the big game and got to touch some cheerleader boobie…

Well, anyway:

All right, boys and girls. Time for a huddle.

So what’s this all about? You like going off on your own, like you don’t need anybody else? You like getting pushed off the line? You like the other team pointing and laughing?

You know they’ve been saying we were going to choke. Even our fans have been saying it. The run is over. We got old too fast, we care about different things than winning these days.

Maybe we’re stupid. Maybe we’ve gotten cracked on the skull too many times to know what’s good for us. Maybe we should just give up, take the easy way out, hug the mat til the bell rings and we can crawl back to our mamas and eat some fried chicken.

Yeah. Maybe. Maybe they’ve been saying we were doomed forever, wishing it were true. And still we keep coming back, cause we’re too stupid, too knotheaded, or cause we don’t want that damn chicken yet.

We just won’t stay the hell down. And this time is no different.

Enough. What they say doesn’t matter. What we do here, now, that’s what matters. Time to shape up, or we’re going to get the crap beat out of us. That’s the truth. We keep it together now, or we’re going down hard. And if we don’t get on same page here, we’ll be going down without a fight.

That ain’t me. I know that ain’t you, neither. So let’s make them prove something. Let’s make them show if they’re made of more than soy and good intentions. Time to remember what team we’re on. Time to remember what’s at stake. Time to go to our strengths, and make them stop us.

Let’s hit them in the freaking mouth.

I give Red State’s Erik Erikson a lot of credit for making Ben take out the references to George Gipp

And while we’re on the subject of home-schooling and the dangers of having your children attend school with the wrong kind of people

Promoted by Adam C as the most important policy issue in this off-election year

Utah’s legislature recently passed the first statewide voucher program in the country (Details Here). The law was signed by the governor, but it was then challenged by anti-choice opponents, and now there will be a referendum November 6th to see whether the voters want to keep the program or not.

I wasn’t aware that school choice was such a hot button issue in Utah where really pale students run the risk of being hassled by rosy-cheeked pinkish-tinged gang members. By the way, I want to give a shout-out to my homies, the LDS 901Utah Saintz. See you at the crossroads (crossroads, crossroads) so you won’t be lonely…

One last thing before we leave this treasure trove that is Red State. Conservatives aren’t going to pay too much for this muffler war. Or more accurately, they don’t want to pay a extra for the Existential Battle Of Our Times Until The Next Existential Battle Which Will Probably Be With The Greenlanders Because They’ve Been Looking At Us Funny Lately (EBOOTUTNEBWWPBWTGBTBLAUFL):

The Democrats have proven time and time again they are willing to lower the bar as far and often as need be to placate their donors…and THIS is no different although I can’t imagine how many fallen and wounded soldiers it’s going to take for America to figure out who the REAL evil and corrupt party is in the political abyss these days:

Three senior House Democrats proposed an income tax surcharge Tuesday to finance the approximately $150 billion annual cost of operations in Iraq, saying it is unfair to pass the cost of the war on to future generations.

The plan, unveiled by Reps. David Obey, D-Wis., John Murtha, D-Pa., and Jim McGovern, D-Mass., would require low- and middle-income taxpayers to add 2 percent to their tax bill. Wealthier people would add a 12 to 15 percent surcharge, Obey said.

This is absurd. So far, thankfully, number 1 and number 2 (glean from that metaphor what you will) are not supporting the measure. But wait…there’s more.


These guys continue to bypass reality. Hey Obey? If we’re all dead and the country is run by Radical Muslims, will your grocery list of handouts matter? Will there even BE any children to make pay for the war we’re fighting to keep them safe and secure?

I’m guessing you didn’t know that several Islamo-carrier groups are currently massing off our shores and you don’t have much time to live, so you might want to think twice about buying any green bananas or paying that overdue cable bill.

I guess I’ll see you at the crossroads (crossroads, crossroads)….

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....