This weeks edition of Five Brothers brings contests and potential fun for the maliciously inclined.
First off, Tagg has a new dog and between him, his wife, and his twelve children they can’t seem to come up with a name for the future horribly abused animal and they want your help. Just go to the comments here, and cast your vote. They have narrowed the names down to
As always, when voting for anything Romney, DadMitt will pay you, like, $4800 or your vote.
Which will be difficult because the Romney campaign is running out of money which is why they are asking the public to create their ads for them.
Once in a while an opportunity comes along that sounds too good to be true. And often thereâ€™s a catchâ€¦
This is not one of those times.
We want you to make a new official television advertisement. Yes, we are serious.
Your ad could feature Mittâ€™s biography, his family, his record as Governor of Massachusetts, or his agenda for a stronger America. In fact, your ad can have practically any theme as long as it supports the campaign creatively and responsibly.
How does it work? We provide the photos, videos and audio clips to get you started. You can add your own multimedia if youâ€™d like. Then just cut, splice and edit until your heartâ€™s content, using easy and free online tools. Everything youâ€™ll need is available at this new site:
The deadline for ad submissions is September 17th, so you can even get the family involved over Labor Day weekend.
After a public vote, the winnerâ€™s video will hit the airwaves as an official campaign TV ad in conjunction with the massive Rally for Romney at the end of September.
Youâ€™ve seen how the professionals do it. Letâ€™s see what you can do!
This is what is known as the Tom Sawyer Feint where other people do your work for you:
Tom wheeled suddenly and said:
â€œWhy, itâ€™s you, Ben! I warnâ€™t noticing.â€
â€œSay – Iâ€™m going in a -swimming, I am. Donâ€™t you wish you could? But of course youâ€™d druther work – wouldnâ€™t you? Course you would!â€
Tom contemplated the boy a bit, and said:
â€œWhat do you call work?â€
â€œWhy, ainâ€™t that work?â€
Tom resumed his whitewashing, and answered carelessly:
â€œWell, maybe it is, and maybe it ainâ€™t. All I know it suits Tom Sawyer.â€
â€œOh, come now, you donâ€™t mean to let on that you like it?â€
The brush continued to move.
â€œLike it? Well, I donâ€™t see why I oughtnâ€™t to like it. does a boy get a chance to whitewash a fence every day?â€
That put the thing in a new light. Ben stopped nibbling his apple. Tom swept his brush daintily back and forth – stepped back to note the effect – added a touch here and there – criticized the effect again – Ben watching every move and getting more and more interested, more and more absorbed. Presently he said:
â€œSay, Tom, let me whitewash a little.â€
Tom Considered, was about to consent; but he altered his mind:
â€œNo-no-I reckon it wouldnâ€™t hardly do, Ben. You see, Aunt Pollyâ€™s awful particular about this fence – right here on the street, you know – but if it was the back fence, I wouldnâ€™t mind, and she wouldnâ€™t. Yes, sheâ€™s awful particular about this fence; itâ€™s got to be done very careful; I recon there ainâ€™t one boy in a thousand, maybe two thousand, that can do it the way itâ€™s got to be done.â€
â€œNo-is that so? Oh, come now – lemme try. Only just a little – Iâ€™d let you, if you was me, Tom.â€
â€œBen, Iâ€™d like to, honest injun; but Aunt Polly – well, Jim wanted to do it, but she wouldnâ€™t let him; Sid wanted to do it, and she wouldnâ€™t let Sid. Now, donâ€™t you see how Iâ€™ fixed? If you was to tackle this fence and anything was to happen to it –â€
â€œOh, shucks, Iâ€™ll be just as careful. Now lemme try. Say – Iâ€™ll give you the core of my apple.â€
â€œWell, here – No, Ben, no you donâ€™t. Iâ€™m afeared –â€
â€œIâ€™ll give you all of it!â€
Tom gave up the brush with reluctance in his face, but alacrity in his heart. And while the late steamer Big Missouri worked and sweated in the sun, the retired artist sat on a barrel in the shade close by, dangled his legs munched his apple, and planned the slaughter of more innocents.
Now if I were a character of low moral standing and too much time on my hands I might consider going to the MittRomney/your ad link and downloading some of the generously provided Romney materials (or current shitty entries) and making up my own special brand of Romney commercials and then posting them somewhere on the internets for all to enjoy.
If only there were such a place…..