Sure, he’s fast becoming the least popular president ever, and his administration has produced nothing but disaster and discord – but George W. Bush is still upbeat and positive, at least according to those who have met him in person – especially (but not necessarily) if they’re insane right-wing sycophants. I have a theory about this, but first I must rant about some of said sycophants’ stupider comments, as lovingly gathered by The Indispensable And All-Seeing Eye Of Froomkin.

Scott Hennen:

If every American could have the opportunity I did today — to sit with the President of the United States and hear him firsthand describe his resolve to win in Iraq and around the world, we would have a very different situation with public opinion. . . .

His descriptions of the enemy and their brutal, cold-blooded-killer tactics were enough to make a graying group of radio talk how hosts want to enlist and serve this country in uniform.

That may very well be one of the least believable statements of all time. But he’s not done:

I wish I could quote him exactly or play a recording of the conversation. Because the George W. Bush I met with in the Oval Office today is a very different person than the man you see in our media. He is a great President. We are very blessed that he is our Commander in Chief. History will judge him well.

Why would Dubya hide his brilliance from the public? Methinks his secret greatness has more to do with the audience than the setting.

Neal Boortz:

Democrats are showing us with their every word and grimace that what is good news for our country, what is good news for the war against Islamic terror, what is god news for our troops in Iraq and Afghanistan, and what is good news for the cause of peace — real peace — and stability in the Middle East is bad news, really bad news, for Democrats. Many of these people with that “D” after their names would gladly sacrifice any semblance of victory in Iraq and against the scourge of Islamic fascism if it would mean maintaining and strengthening their hold on power in Washington.

I am so sick of this insultingly stupid meme. We would love for Iraq to turn out well, and we would love for our soldiers to stop getting killed and maimed (physically and mentally), but we can see it’s not happening. We’re rolling our eyes at the “good news” because it’s bullshit, not because it sucks for our team. But if victory really is kryptonite to Democrats and progressives, then why did the Bushies make so little effort to secure it?

Okay, on to my theory. Dubya is cheerful because he can see the finish line. He’s realized that at their current pace, the Democratic Congress isn’t going to force him out of Iraq, isn’t going to impeach him, isn’t going to breach his bogus “executive privilege” stonewalls – not within 17 months. We know from his business history that failure itself doesn’t bother him; only consequences, and he never faces them.

Dubya’s “optimism” is the smug relief of a wealthy criminal who knows his lawyer will get him off; of a thuggish frat boy whose dad paid for the school’s new library. I hope he’s wrong, but fear he’s right.

My only consolation is that I can see the finish line too.