OK I am getting my thoughts in order on all of what has been happening this week.
In our real world as lesbians and gays know all too well people who hate us for being what we are.
In my blog world up till this now there has been none of that, my core readers who are mostly California and British Surfers, with a handful of very loyal local readers thrown in for good measure, always knew I was gay and accepted it, but I wanted to be a little more open about things and maybe reach a little larger lesbian readership who I could annoy with my silly drivel.
This is why I contacted my friend Renee Gannon, who is the wonderful author of her own blog Lesbatopia and a major contributor to AOL’s Gaysighted for some advice on how she thought I should proceed doing this without totally freaking everyone who reads The Queen of the Surf Pirates out and she gave me some very good advice too.
At the same time I was reaching out for a larger lesbian audience another friend linked me to a Virginia based forum about the Outer Banks by posting a link to Sammy's Surf Report and first reaction from the readers of The Outer Banks Connection seemed to me very positive and hey I’m a blogger so expanding my local readership sounded good to me, so I started posting Sammy reports there with link back to this page.
Well there turned out to be a very homophobic core element at that forum and after they read Sammy's report they went a little further to see this blog going through its coming out and did not like that one little bit. I started get some shots from them, you know the snide little harassment, cracks and jabs, that a lesbian tends to get from less enlightened people. They are always veiled, but aimed to hurt, it happens all of the time and while you get used to it, you never really like it much.
I pointed out what was going on to the owner of this site and asked for something to be done. His first reaction was to say that certainly I was wrong, all of the people on his site were good. That was until he was presented with evidence homophobia indeed was happening on his site. The site owner then tried to minimize the incident and told me while he had no ill feeling towards gays personally he was willing to go only as far as it was comfortable for him in expressing that. The owner made it abundantly clear that his site is all about the money really and is a business; he just didn’t want any waves. His site is trying to promote the Outer Banks not gay rights.
I do think he is a good guy at heart, but he is not trying to change the world. He is like many of our politicians today; He is just trying to get as many people to read his site as he can. It was also very clear to me that he was getting pressure from the homophobes to make the gay girl ‘keep it under wraps’ and were threatening to pull their support from him if he didn’t. But the owner of that site did not seem to understand is in catering to this homophobic core he is actually endorsing them and their hate, not very unlike many politicians in this country do with the religious right when it come to gays… Just look at Dick Cheney.
Needless to say, I was not happy with his response to my concerns and I have a blog, so I expressed that unhappiness here. Then Renee picked up that article as a subject for a Queersighted article. After the Articles were posted I asked the owner of this site to make a statement on how he felt about gay issues here on the Queen of the Surf Pirates. But the owner of the site stated I was “making too big of a deal out of the whole thing” and took all of this to be a personal attack on him and his site and like so many of todays politicians stood by his core of tried and true homophobic supporters. His choice was to threaten to sue me, have my blog pulled for copy write infringement because it was displaying his logo as a link to his site and squelch any possible mention of the incident by banning the gay girl.
This whole story this week has been truly the story all lesbians and gays can relate to when we try to change the world and the world wont change. I realize the owner of that site can never truly know how the behavior of the few haters that are in his forum made me feel and in the end I came off looking like a pushy dyke trying to trash his business. He didn’t get how much it hurts to be treated this way because you’re gay…
But now I think maybe he may just understand just how lesbian and gays feel just a bit now because after three days of me not letting any of this drop he finally sent me this E-mail…