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Did We Do Better This Week?

Did our Forces of Light and Progress gain ground or lose yardage this week? I try to evaluate how we did every week — usually on Saturday before I’m influenced by the Big Talking Heads and Opiners. We being the anti-fascist, pro-People Power, pro-Earth, DFH peace-lovers, in our battle with the Evil Borg Bush-loving replicants who’ve stolen our country to drive us over the cliff.

And this week is a toss-up for me.

Onetime Ken Starr underlings Amy St. Eve and John Bates demonstrated their obeisance to Dear Leader and his wealthy, powerful pals, illustrating yet again that this Regime’s hold on the US judiciary will long outlast its own tenure.

On the other hand, freshmen Senators McCaskill and Webb called for the creation of an independent, bipartisan commission to investigate wartime profiteering in Iraq.

But: Preznit Chimpy McFlightsuit, before undergoing his “procedure,” announced that US Attorneys were an enamation of his will and therefore may never prosecute Congressional contempt citations in cases where He has claimed His Executive Privilege.

Harry Reid got back in our good graces by making Grand Obstructionist Party (thanks, CHS!) Senators show their true colors in a grueling nightlong speechathon about our Occupation of Iraq. Unfortunately, Reed-Levin failed to overcome cloture. Fortunately, Harry Reid pulled the Defense Authorization Bill. Unfortunately, this may carry Bush’s War all the way into September. Which emboldened Petraeus’ number-two guy to talk about reporting benchmarks in November instead. An idea promptly knocked down by none other than a nervous Mitch McConnell. So, did we win or did we lose?

We learned about startling but par-for-the-course theocratic political pressure in the Surgeon General’s office. And that the former 2008 GOP frontrunner blames his campaign’s implosion on the sexuality of his knitwear.

So far, fifty-three American servicemembers have lost their lives in July in Iraq, while US Forces command paid Rand Corporation $400,000 to determine that Team USA’s “force” brand was doomed from the start.

1,700,000 Americans who make minimum wage or less will get a seventy-cents per hour increase on Tuesday. Average earnings for the top twenty-five hedge fund managers in 2006 were $570,000,000. In total, these twenty-five people “earned” fourteen billion dollars.

We get to ask Presidential candidates questions. But Congress can’t ask Presidential appointees questions.

So, next week, can we do better? Got any ideas how we might do better?

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Teddy Partridge

Teddy Partridge