All signs point to you…

Big Brain Brian, who’s been living in Michelle Malkin’s basement until a real job comes along, says that WE”RE ALL GONNA DIE!!! because Congress failed to pass the Novel Way to Get That Aisle Seat Act which would allow well-meaning xenophobes to accuse everyone on the plane who is speaking some kind of crazy moonman language of being a terrorist, freeing up valuable overhead compartment space .

The story notes that Democrats like Homeland Security Chairman Rep. Bennie Thompson opposed the “John Doe” protection out of fears it would lead to racial profiling. Because, of course, racial profiling is so much worse than losing a city full of innocent people.

Well, yes, those really are your only two choices. Like, for example, choosing between abstinence or becoming a slut, or choosing between joining a gang or becoming a world famous breakdancer. Real world dilemmas that you yourself may face every day.

Now I’m willing to accept a little profiling… like keeping certain people off of planes. After all, who would you rather sit next to on a long flight? Someone from the Middle East

…or someone from Jersey?

Take your time deciding. Your plane is probably delayed anyway…