Pull out the tiny violin for the Republican Senator from Louisiana and DC Madam customer, who puts his wife before the cameras (and doesn’t take any questions) at the news conference. He firmly denies the Louisiana brothel tales (and ostensibly the diaper fetish rumors, though he didn’t bring that up — wonder why).

Since then, I’ve gotten up every morning, committed to trying to live up to the important values we believe in. If continuing to believe in and acknowledge those values causes some to attack me because of my past failings, well, so be it.

Unfortunately, my admission has encouraged some long-time political enemies and those hoping to profit from the situation to spread falsehoods too, like those New Orleans stories in recent reporting. Those stories are not true.

Blah, blah, blah — important values like protecting the sanctity of marriage from ho-mo-sexuals…All I know is the woman’s body language speaks for itself:

WENDY VITTER: To those of you who know me, are you surprised that I have something to say? You know, in most any other marriage, this would have been a private issue between a husband and a wife — very private. Obviously, it is not here…Last week, some people very sympathetically said to me, “I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes right now.” I stand before you to tell you very proudly, I am proud to be Wendy Vitter.

Feel free to write your own caption.