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Why Mitt Would Be The Perfect Republican Rominee

miserabledog.jpgMy first take on this story was that it was just horrible, which it is. But it’s also a great example of why conservatives should recognize Mitt as the perfect choice to follow in Dubya’s footsteps:

Romney placed his family dog, an Irish setter named Seamus, into a kennel lashed to the top of his station wagon for a 12-hour family trip from Boston to Ontario in 1983. Despite being shielded by a wind screen the former Massachusetts governor erected, Seamus expressed his discomfort with a diarrhea attack.

Now the story, recounted this week in a Boston Globe profile of Romney, has touched off howls of outrage from bloggers and animal rights activists even though it was presented in the story as an example of Romney’s coolness under trying circumstances.

When Romney’s eldest son, Tagg, and his four brothers complained about the brown runoff down the back windshield, their father quietly pulled the car over, borrowed a gas station hose and sprayed down both the dog and the kennel before returning to the road.

(…)

Romney dismissed any outcry about the 24-year-old incident, saying the dog enjoyed his rooftop perch.

”He scrambled up there every time we went on trips,” Romney said at a campaign stop in Pittsburgh Thursday. ”He got it all by himself and enjoyed it.”

So not only did Mitt use an episode of incredible cruelty and lack of empathy as an example of his grace under pressure, but he also claimed that the helpless victim totally loved the idea (I’m assuming that diarrhea must be the dog equivalent of flowers and candy). Hell, he could almost be Dubya’s twin.

On the other hand, Mitt actually did manage to get the shit off. If it had been Dubya, he would have insisted the shit was chocolate and threatened to fight anyone who tried to clean it up. Five years later, after it was good and caked on (and after adding some more of his own), he would finally sell the car and the dog to a Democrat “as is” – possibly after setting them on fire.

(Image is from Dog Busters, a NOLA animal rescue blog)

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