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Gay: The New Chinese?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not really complaining. I know that things are much better for gay people in Massachusetts than in the majority of the country. It is nice to have a legislature that is ALMOST 75% pro-marriage equality. It is wonderful that we have such a courageous Supreme Court, a pro-gay governor, and a Senate president and Speaker of the House that are strong supporters of gay rights. That took a lot of campaigning and a lot of footwork and I’m not ungrateful.

The thing is, sometimes I think that straight people are becoming a little TOO comfortable with us. It’s not just the fun that movies, sitcoms, and late-night comedians have with us, it reverberates on a personal level as well. Nothing says hip, modern, and just a little bit edgy like a “gay friend”.  Gay clubs are about the only place where a girl can get drunk, dance with hot sweaty guys, and never feel threatened. Drag shows, pride parades, and gay-vague rockers offer precious spice in a world that gets dull so easily.

So when Johnny and Janey Q. Boring are looking for something different in their white yuppie lives they ask, what are you in the mood for tonight? Chinese? Sushi? Gay?

A few recent examples below the fold. Please post your own stories 🙂Exhibit 1:

Weekly Dig (one of those free alternative news magazines) put out a “Straight Guide to Pride” replete with gay stereotypes for the savvy “fag watcher” to make identification a snap. Field glasses not included.

Exhibit 2:

Straight people saying “Happy Pride” to each other on the street. I know, its kind of cute. But Jeezus its not St. Patricks where everyone is honorarily Irish. To misquote Velvet Goldmine: “To be gay, you have to actually have gay sex”. Still, I guess its better than the suburban tourists in fanny-pacs snapping pictures in Provincetown with the most colorful queens they can find. (My favorite is the one covered in donuts and cups from Dunkies)

Exhibit 3:
(And the catylist for this post)

I finished up work late last night and needed a beer before going home. There is a friendly, no-attitude gay bar just down the street that is usually full of scary-looking leather daddies and old geezers. I like it because people are very nice, but generally leave you alone.

To my surprise, half of my office building was there already – all of the clean-cut J Crew and Banana Republic guys and girls with their opposite-sex partners held closer than usual. I sat down with them, ordered a beer, and soon found myself in a very diplomatic conversation about gay marriage, gay neighborhoods, and all of the gay friends that everyone had. It was all just so nice and fabulous and not anything to be scared of.

After that conversation I needed another drink, so I went to a straight yuppie bar – where everyone (thankfully) ignored me.

I know, I sound bitter and antisocial and spoiled. I’m not usually like that. But really, sometimes I wonder, is normalcy too much to ask for?

Alternate title: First they hate you, then they celebrate you, then they ignore you, then you win.

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