His anaconda don’t want none unless you got funds, hon.

Hey lay-deez! International Man of Misery and Shaha Shagger, Paul Wolfowitz is back on the market!

PAUL Wolfowitz has really had a bad couple of weeks. He not only lost his job, he lost his girlfriend, too.

Wolfowitz, one of the architects of the Iraq war, was pushed out as president of the World Bank over a controversial pay and promotion package he arranged for his brunette girlfriend, Shaha Ali Riza.

Sources say Riza, a brilliant feminist with a promising diplomatic career, was upset by all the publicity and the implication that she was getting ahead with the help of a powerful man. “She was furious about the embarrassment,” said one source.


Investigative reporter Wayne Madsen, who broke some of the first stories on the Wolfowitz scandal on waynemadsenreport.com, said reliable sources confirmed to him “that Wolfie and Shaha are history.”

Madsen adds that last week, he spotted Ali Riza by herself, walking up 19th Street in Washington from World Bank offices after Wolfowitz appeared in a closed-door meeting before the bank’s executive board. “I thought to myself . . . it’s strange she’d be alone right now,” Madsen said.

Now you may be thinking “Why would I want to have anything to do with that comb-licking toad?”, but keep in mind that the World Bank is about to award him a $400,000 “longevity” bonus. Say no more. Nudge nudge wink wink. So if you’re looking for a man with a lot of time on his hands to “invade your marshy southern borders” and “liberate” you, just dial 1-900-WOLFALOT and kick those nasty thoughts.

Wolfie is back.

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....