Susan: A real woman could stop you from drinking.
Arthur: It’d have to be a real BIG woman

As was pointed out in comments earlier regarding Bull Durham:

“The world is made for people who aren’t cursed with self-awareness. “

Which leads us to the best live-blogging ever.

Let’s start with point number two and let it flow over us

2. I didn’t realize there was a debate today until someone asked me this morning if I was going to watch it. Oh, no. I guess I am. But how many candidates? 8 for the Democrats was pretty annoying, though the 8th guy — Gravel — did provide some comic relief. I have to listen to 10 Republicans? 10! Who the hell are they? 10? Let’s see there’s Giuliani and McCain… uh…. and Tommy Thompson but not Fred Thompson… conversation about whether Tommy gets any boost in popularity by having the same name as the strangely longed-for non-candidate Fred… so, come on, you only got 3. There’s 10! Where’s my coffee? I can’t believe you don’t even remember Romney. Oh, yeah, Romney. How could I forget? Who else? A Senator from Kansas? A Senator from Kansas, really? Not Dole… Brownback! Oh, he’s from Kansas. How perfectly boring. Huckabee. Oh, yeah, Huckabee. He used to be fat. Yikes, that’s still only 6! Who are the other 4? And I’m committing to listening to them? Ron Paul. He might be amusing. Who else? I look it up: Jim Gilmore, Duncan Hunter, Tom Tancredo. Oh, the pain.

Several “coffees” later:

13. Wow! Romney on health care! I have no idea if his policy is good. I’ll have to read about it. But his form of expression was great here.

and this:

15. A yes-or-no question: Do you believe in evolution? It looks like 3 of them raised their hands on no, but I didn’t quite catch who.

Suddenly a lightbulb goes off:

19. Guy! They’re all guys! It just hit me. They’re all white too. Should be a question on that.

At which point I was reminded of this:

Arthur: You’re a hooker? Jesus, I forgot! I just thought I was doing GREAT with you!

When you get caught between the moon and Mogen David.
I know it’s crazy, but it’s true



Yeah. Like I would tell you....