Coming up next: How Wang Dang Sweet Poontang influenced Griswold vs. Connecticut

CNN brings out the deeply serious experts to explain the 2nd Amendment to us.

Who doesn’t get this? Who has the audacity to demand unarmed helplessness? Who likes dead good guys?

I’ll tell you who. People who tramp on the Second Amendment, that’s who. People who refuse to accept the self-evident truth that free people have the God-given right to keep and bear arms, to defend themselves and their loved ones. People who are so desperate in their drive to control others, so mindless in their denial that they pretend access to gas causes arson, Ryder trucks and fertilizer cause terrorism, water causes drowning, forks and spoons cause obesity, dialing 911 will somehow save your life, and that their greedy clamoring to “feel good” is more important than admitting that armed citizens are much better equipped to stop evil than unarmed, helpless ones.

I’m looking forward to CNN’s Special Edition where Scott Stapp takes a in-depth look at Gibbons v. Ogden in order to explain why it rocks so hard.

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....