Face the Snark
for the week ending 4/7/07:
Well, I'm not entirely sure the Bush administration and its duly appointed representatives (I'm looking at you, Lieberman) could contort themselves any more this week without incurring serious spinal damage. Bush's latest foray into "scold's bridle" territory last week was side-splitting for its blantantly pissy hypocrisy. I lost count of the number of untruths he folded into that press conference; it was more like one giant run-on fallacy.
After lurking in the bushes at Bush's presser like a sniper waiting for the presidential motorcade to pass by, Dick Cheney donned his black PVC vinyl merry widow outfit, put on the platform stilettos, grabbed his cat o' nine tails, and teased Rush Limbaugh with his talk about how Nancy Pelosi should be punished for her bad behavior. Like gutting the Treasury for your friends is the act of a Good Samaritan, Dick.
(BTW, it didn't hurt Rush's chances to sport wood when Cheney whipped out that moldy trope about how Saddam Hussein was the sources of all of the world's woes again. Rush loves the golden oldies. Viagra could only HOPE to have such an effect on ol' Rush as Mistress Dickie has.)
Not content to be labelled merely a bald-faced liar, President Frat Boy worked himself into a lather and dusted off his cheerleader megaphone to scream "Go fuck yourselves!" at the Senate. Taking advantage of the Senate's "spring break" President Frathead appointed Sam Fox to the ambassadorship to Belgium…one week after the White House withdrew his nomination after they found out that the Senate had some "issues" with Mr. Fox's funding of the Swift Boat Campaign.
Even when these guys don't set their minds to it, their capacity for fuckery is astonishing. Happy Easter! Don't eat the green jelly beans.
The President speaks. Holden at First Draft braves the risk of an aneurysm to translate it for us. And for those who missed the
tantrum press conference that Bush had last week, the Rude Pundit summarizes it in his signature style.
Kerry at 100 Monkeys Typing has the recipe for success! No bad behavior required.
Agitprop's Blogenfreude mistakes McCain's latest addition to his campaign committee for a bean counter. Beans, Jews . . . whatever.
Clif at Outside the Tent notices a passing resemblance between Joan Crawford and Mitt Romney.
Rising Hegemon's newest addition, res ipsa loquitur, has a wicked tongue and an eye for EEEEE-VEEEEL!
Oooh, I love word games! Norbizness over at Happy Furry Puppy Story Time tests your cranial capacity.
George at I'm Not One To Blog thinks Dr. Laura needs electroshock if she thinks Rudy Giuliani is the cure for this country's woes.
The spirit of K-Lo compels Trifecta at New Pairodimes.
Tom Hilton at No More Mister Nice Blog performs the Dance of the Seven Veils.
Sir Oolius at She Flies With Her Own Wings reads the latest reports on climate change through a wingnut's eyes.
Everyone's got their bete noire. For salvage at Hairy Fish Nuts, it's Deb "Broken Head" Schussel.