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Late Nite FDL: Hysterical Blindness

pot kettle etc.

I guess you've got to love a home-grown fatwah.

Chris Kelly alerts us to the fact that Wrong-Way Malkin has a brand new club for all her BFF's. 

Most Americans just rolled over and surrendered when Arab terrorists took over the government and the media,

Gosh, you know that's right.  I stopped living my life altogether.  In fact, I'm not even here right now.  I just now realized that since 9/11 I keep praying to Mecca five times a day and I've changed my name to Ahmed al Akhbar.  Funny how those things will sneak up on you.  Do you like my kaffiyeh?

but not Michelle Malkin.

Yeah, I really admired the way she and her husband both dropped everything and joined the military on September 12th, 2001.  They've been doing a heck of a job over in Tal Afar.  Great Americans, both of them.

She's fighting back. By starting a club.

Oh, my god, that'll, so, like, totally work!  Why didn't somebody already think of that? 

All you have to do to join is report everyone you see who seems to be a foreigner. Or who seems to tolerate foreigners. Or who may be thinking foreigner-tolerating thoughts.

It's like the Junior Spies in 1984, only totally fun.

It's called The John Doe Movement and it's got an oath and everything. And if you join not only will you fight Islamofascism, but you can also come to Michelle's house after school, have a healthy snack, and play with her Breyer Horses. Well, not play with them. But, you know, look at them.

You also get a button. Wanna sign up?

Do we get cookies and punch?

Chris, tell us about that oath, would you?

Here's the pledge:

"Dear Muslim Terrorist Plotter/Planner/Funder/Enabler/Apologist,

You do not know me. But I am on the lookout for you. You are my enemy.
And I am yours.

I am John Doe.

I am traveling on your plane. I am riding on your train. I am at your bus stop. I am on your street. I am in your subway car. I am on your lift…"

(Now, I know what you're thinking: That sounds like a lot of travel. And who says "lift?" Are you Madonna? But don't get hung up on that. Let her talk.)

" … I am your neighbor. I am your customer. I am your classmate. I am your boss."

(I am Polly Pocket.)

"…I am John Doe.


"… I will act when homeland security officials ask me to "report suspicious activity."

I will embrace my local police department's admonition: "If you see something, say something."

I am John Doe…"

(And I tend to repeat myself.)

Stop!  Stop!  You're kidding me, right?  Is this for fucking real?

Funny, it's reminding me of something, I can't think of what.

Oh, no, wait!  I've got it.

The pledge of the youth:

Speaker (one of the youth celebrating the event):

We affirm:
The German people has been created by the will of God.
All those who fight for the life of our people, and those who died,
Carried out the will of God.
Their deeds are to us holy obligation

All the boys and girls participating:

This we believe.


We affirm that God gave us all our strength,
In order to maintain the life of our people
And defend it. It is therefore our holiest
Duty to fight to our last breath
Anything that threatens or endangers the life
Of our people. God will decide
Whether we live or die.

Everyone present: This we pledge.


We want to be free from all selfishness.
We want to be fighters for this Reich
Named Germany, our home.
We will never forget that we are German.

Everyone present: That is what we want.

Just for shits and giggles, I want you to go read Malkin's John Doe pledge, but everywhere that it says, "Muslim", replace that with "Jew".  Everywhere it says, "Imam", make it say "Rabbi", and everywhere that it says, "John Doe", make it say, "Muhammed al Ahmed".  Now, pretend this document was found in a Shi'ite stronghold in Sadr City. 

Read it again and ask yourself that if this was, in fact, found in the home of a suicide bomber and published on the Drudge Report or some other Right Wing outlet, how fast would Malkin have it up on her blog as evidence that all people of the Islamic faith are genocidal maniacs?  Could her extremism be any further out on her sleeve with this statement?

It never ceases to amaze me how much people like Malkin have in common with the very jihadi they claim are coming any day now to rape us to death, eat our flesh, and sew our skins into their clothing.  And yet, they are completely oblivious to the resemblance.  God bless their pointy little heads, but they must all be just as dense as bricks. 

In their heads, it's all rage and fear and fear and rage all the time and that repeating loop must cancel out all other thought.  Surely at some point they have to stop and think, "Maybe this much hate isn't good for me or anybody else.  Maybe my unreasoning, hysterical xenophobia says more about me than it does about them."

I know, I'm not holding my breath, either. 

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TRex is a 60-million-year-old theropod who enjoys terrorizing trailer parks, stomping his enemies, and eating things that get in his way or annoy him. He is single and looking for a new boyfriend. He's 60 feet tall, green, with delicate forelimbs, large, sharp teeth, and a lengthy tail. Turn-ons include political activism, bashing conservatives, and volcanoes. Turn-offs are vegetarians, right-wing blogs, and killer asteroids.