Matt Barber gets his panties in a bunch

Now, I’m not one to put up a fundamentalist’s column and dissect it, but this one is just too funny. Matt Barber has some pretty strange ideas about the gay community, and he wrote this column that’s pretty off-the-wall. There’s a lot of “Blah, blah, blah, homosexuals are terrible and destroying America blah, blah, blah,” but here are some highlights.

Not surprisingly, many of those non-judgmental, freedom-loving moral-relativists on the left are up in arms, demanding that Pace apologize and offer a full retraction or be fired (which would of course be disingenuous, entirely meaningless and have no effect on the veracity of his comments).

Besides the fact that I can’t think of anyone in the gay rights movement who has called for Pace to be fired, what’s this junk about the left being non-judgmental? Seriously, after all those years of the GOP Congress not being willing to judge Bush’s criminal actions as criminal, followed by several months of subpeonas and investigations under the Democratic Congress…. Like, yeah, that says it all.

Unless he means that gay men and lesbians are non-judgmental. Which I guess if he meant that then he hasn’t ever actually met a gay man or a lesbian.

They are militant, organized, extremely powerful and well funded. Through clever semantics and shrewd political subterfuge they cynically play to honorable notions of freedom and fair-play in order to push a deceptive and activist agenda.

Yeah, totally. Except for the facts that the gay rights groups that I’m sure he’s referring to have about one-tenth the amount of money that their right-wing counterparts do and that referring to gay rights groups as well-organized or extremely powerful definitely qualifies as “bearing false witness”.

This unholy amalgamation of left-wing storm troopers has been empowered by both the November elections and a recent upsurge in successful speech enforcement, and they’re rapidly ramping-up efforts to completely silence any criticism of this high-risk, pleasure-centric and dare I say, “immoral” lifestyle.

Oh, you dare say that! In fact, you’re going for extra points amongst your followers by saying that!

I don’t know what “successful speech enforcement” he’s referring to, because all we got recently was Hardaway digging himself deeper, Coulter proudly not apologizing and saying faggot again, and Pace’s non-apology.

But I guess what I like best about this is being indirectly referred to as a storm trooper. Like, hell yeah! Man, that sounds like fun!

And when talking about hate crimes leg, he says:

All things being equal, this means that if your 5-foot-2-inch grandmother were attacked in her home and a 6-foot-4-inch homosexual linebacker who likes to wear lipstick and high-heels were attacked by the same assailant, the “gay” linebacker would be treated as more valuable to society, and the crime would officially be considered more egregious.

Now where is this 6’4″ linebacking Mary? Because I need to get me some of that action!

Of course, Matt doesn’t realize that all things are never equal, that a hate crime against that linebacker is an attack on the whole community and will take him over twice as long to get over…. But what about a situation where we’re talking about someone’s 5’2″ lesbian grandmother being attacked in the same way as a straight 6’4″ linebacker? We already know who society currently thinks is more valuable.

This bill irrefutably sets the table and places us on the slippery slope toward widespread government persecution. HR 1592 more accurately resembles dictates born of Joseph Stalin’s communist Russia than it does the constitutional precepts born of George Washington’s America.

Because Stalin was so pro-gay.

Seriously, can’t these people write one page without comparing anyone who disagrees with them to Hitler or Stalin? That’s one thing I’ve learned though about argumentation – people who are one the side of the argument that makes less sense always have to pile on the hyperbole instead.

(Crossposted from Bilerico)

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