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[UPDATE: So Shakes speculates in the comments that she thinks Keillor’s piece is satire — if it is, it’s piss poor in the wake of Hardaway, Coulter and Pace. We’ll see if Keillor surfaces to explain that he’s just pulling our leg, as it were.]

Garrison Keillor reveals himself to be one hell of a homobigot over at Salon, where he reminisces about the good old days, before homos were out of the closet, and — gasp — raising children — oh, the vapors!

“I grew up the child of a mixed-gender marriage that lasted until death parted them, and I could tell you about how good that is for children, and you could pay me whatever you think it’s worth.

…Under the old monogamous system, we didn’t have the problem of apportioning Thanksgiving and Christmas among your mother and stepdad, your dad and his third wife, your mother-in-law and her boyfriend Hal, and your father-in-law and his boyfriend Chuck. Today, serial monogamy has stretched the extended family to the breaking point.

He needs Shakes Sis‘s fainting couch:

But it doesn’t end there:

“The country has come to accept stereotypical gay men — sardonic fellows with fussy hair who live in over-decorated apartments with a striped sofa and a small weird dog and who worship campy performers and go in for flamboyance now and then themselves. If they want to be accepted as couples and daddies, however, the flamboyance may have to be brought under control.

Jesus H. Christ — this is heinous.

Andy at Towleroad snapped it back hard on hypocrite Keillor, who has taken those sacred marriage vows three times, and sired two rugrats with two of his wives.

This is from a man known for dumping a Prairie Home Companion producer who had been his longtime lover in order to marry his second wife. That marriage failed when he was discovered to be having an affair with his Danish language teacher.

And over at Dan Savage’s pad, I think he might be a tad angry, with an entry entitled:

What an asshole. Asshole, asshole, asshole. What Keillor wrote today on Salon is every bit as offensive as Ann Coulter’s “faggot” joke about John Edwards and relies on the same set of cultural prejudices.

  I know a lot of gay couples with children-some of which, as I type these words, are losing their health insurance in Michigan because of an anti-gay marriage amendment passed in that state by hateful motherfuckers who, like Keillor, hate, fear and know nothing about gay couples.

H/t, oddjob.

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Pam Spaulding

Pam Spaulding

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