Reason #7: Why Norm & Midge tell people he’s adopted

The last three posts by John Podhoretz at The Corner (and I’m not making these up):

2:33 PM–

Hannah and Her Thithters [John Podhoretz]

“Woody Allen has set Scarlett Johansson to star in the untitled film he’ll shoot this summer in Spain, along with Penelope Cruz.’ — Variety

Scarlett: You may be theventy-thix yearth old and totally dithguthting, Woody, but I want to have thex with you!

Penelope: Thtand athide, Thcarlett! The repulthive thenior thitizen ith mine!

Woody: Girlth, girlth! Don’t fight. There’th more than enough of me to go around. I’ve got a prethcription for Thee-al-ith!

2:57 PM –

This Week’s American Idol Report [John Podhoretz]

Yo yo yo. So check it out, yo—except for Lakisha and Melinda, y’all were a little pitchy, dawg.

5:12 PM –

What Am I, Chopped Liver? [John Podhoretz]

How come nobody ever offered me any of them sub-prime mortgages?

One wonders why anyone ever offered him a job.