Face the Snark – Mug Shot Edition
for the week ending 3/3/07:
Is it me or does this president spend an excessive amount of his time being photographed standing amid the rubble of American cities, pretending to care? Donning yet another Presidential Seal-embroidered, limited edition Members Only™ windbreaker (to be displayed in the "National Disasters" section of his presidential lieberry, no doubt), Bush spent yesterday getting off on tornado porn in the South, just two days after he returned to the scene of one of his bigger crimes, New Orleans.
With menthol-rubbed crocodile tears seeping from his shifty, close-set eyes as he hugged strategically placed teenagers and yes, even a black woman (whom he deemed "fine"), the Dauphin of Crawford spit out little pablum profiteroles like "from this rubble will emerge a better tomorrow" and "the minute you find out you don't have what you need, if you put out a call to the country, this country will respond." Sing it, Louise! I'm sure the folks in the Ninth Ward who are still living in FEMA trailers with no construction crews in sight because nobody's bothered to heed their distress signals are clamoring to provide the chorus for your gospel! Oh, wait, that's right. They not allowed a voice; they're primarily Democrats.
Lord knows, if it's one thing this administration excels at, it's talking out of both sides of its mouth (and oftentimes straight from its anus, personified by George W. Bush). They steadfastly refuse to acknowledge the causal relationship between their F5 tornado of incompetence and the destruction of the countries they currently occupy. To wit: accompanied by the exquisitely timed timpani strike of a suicide bomber detonating himself at the entrance of Bagram AFB, Vice President Snarly von Pork Chop, on his "There Aren't As Many Middle Eastern Countries as There Are Days Before The Libby Jury Comes Back With a Verdict" tour of the Iraq and Afghanistan, warned that if we pull out of Iraq, then Afghanistan will succumb to the evildoers. Heh-heh-hello, Dick? You know that "boom" you heard? That's the Taliban flexing its regrown muscle because you terminally stupid managers redirected money and forces from the "good war" to your personal sandbox in Iraq.
And yet, even when these guys drop their metaphoric trousers and let their shriveled junk hang out in plain sight, everyone looks away, because to draw attention to the fact would just be . . . uncivil. And THAT's the real disaster, worthy of a Presidential windbreaker.
As my mother would say: My god, how did it get to be March already? Here, enjoy some foul-mouthed blogging from the Left.
Roy at alicublog has a dirty fuckin' mouth! And while the wingnuts recoil in mock horror at the number of curse words in the typical MyDD post, Jesus' General keeps count of what constitutes "dirty words" in the wingnutosphere. Compare and contrast, indeed. Steve M. at No More Mister Nice Blog makes his own useful chart.
August J. Pollak pays a visit to CPAC, as does the indomitable Mike Stark (the photos are worth the price of admission alone). Jill at Brilliant at Breakfast notes certain pundits' "flip-flopping" on Al Gore, now that he's Mister Academy Award winner (well, not technically, but still).
Agitprop's guest blogger, Frederick, provides this week's journalistic compare and contrast. Same shite, different day. Grrr.
Jeklyin Hyde over at DailyKos understands that the Supreme Court has granted certiorari to determine whether Al Gore can keep his Oscar.
Sadly, No!'s Gavin M. weighs in (er…) on Dick Cheney's "brush with death", even though he was at least a mile away from it. d r i f t g l a s s ponders the conundrum wrapped in an enigma ensconced in a dyspeptic sociopath's crusty towel that is Dick Cheney. And InanimateCarbonRod at Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Nachos can't quite wrap its head around the fact that there's actually an airplane named "The Spirit of Strom Thurmond".
Fanatical Apathy's Adam Felber SPEAKS LOUDLY AND SLOWLY to the Iranian Foreign Minister to explain this whole "who can have nuclear weapons" thing.
Pete at A Perfectly Cromulent Blog notes what passes for very pressing legislation in Maryland. But it might lead to dancing!
"Hey, God, have your girl call mine," says Salvage at Hairy Fish Nuts.
Jon Swift writes a fundraising letter.
Rising Hegemon's Attaturk mourns the death of Anna Nicole Smith.
Rants From the Rookery's Ellroon sees a vague resemblance…
Oh, man. I am so voting for Lawyers, Guns, and Money '08. Their platform speaks to me, man.
Retired General William Odom slaps the Right's albino monk, Hugh Hewitt, over at Operation Yellow Elephant.
Victor, over at Opinions You Should Have, peers into his crystal ball and the shit ain't pretty. And I mean that in a purely aesthetic sense.
Clif at Outside the Tent highlights one of New York City's finest, most perspicacious minds. Or not.