Worst. Film. Reviewer. Ever.

Dirty Harry at Libertas:

Upcoming Movie Reviews.

Little preview of what’s upcoming in the next 10 days or so. Many of you requested Pan’s Labyrinth and Children of Men, and we’re listening. It was just important to get the Oscar noms out of the way first. So, enjoy yourselves picturing me driving all the way out to West L.A., over-paying for parking, and sitting in some art-house theatre just to please you.

Is there anything else you’d like me to attend for you? Homo-erotic art exhibit, perhaps? Hillary fund raiser? Anti-war performance artist? Just let me know.

First off, we have trouble believing that anyone is really writing to Harry begging him to review Pan’s Labyrinth and Children of Men so that they will know what to think. Or, not to think as the case may be.

But as for getting the “Oscar noms” out of the way? Pan’s Labyrinth was nominated for six and Children of Men received three nominations. Then there is the fact that both films were released at the end of December. That was last year for those keeping score at home.One supposes he avoided seeing them because they are playing in “art-house” theaters (although they’re at the SuperUberMultiplex near me) and star people with the kind of accents you only hear at the post office.

Bonus Dirty Harry film review! Hillary Clinton drove F.B.I. agent Robert Hanssen to sell secrets to the Russians:

Certainly one can excuse what’s done to Hanssen’s character under the guise of this being a true story. But it’s not a filmmaker’s job to make a documentary. It is a filmmaker’s job to capture the essense of the story thematically or through character, and create a compelling narrative from it. Turning Hanssen into a stereotype was a near-fatal mistake. And the worst part of it was that I saw it coming early on. I knew that because of his religion, patriotism, and disdain for Hillary Clinton that he would be stripped of all his sympathetic qualities before the movie was over. Not because it served the story, but because it served a world view.

She’s such a bitch.

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....