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Reading Comprehension is Not This Churchgoer’s Strength

As a way to stay sane, I take part in community theatre here in Colorado.  Sometimes, just because we can, we refer to ourselves or to others as thespians.

You probably know that some people confuse the term “thespian” with “lesbian.”  Sure enough, this is what happened just this past week, and it makes the fellow who wrote the following email to the Colorado State Thespians, a group whose mission is to promote theatre and theatre education among high-school students.

Here is the email, for your amusement:

From: Robby Zimmerman 
To: XXXXXXX@XXXXXXX.XXX, XXXX@cothespians.com
Subject: thespians
Date: Sun, 11 Feb 2007 06:58:10 +0000

Hello,

My name is Robert Zimmerman and I am a member of the Chombers Avenue Baptist Fellowship Church in Denver. I take a very active role in our church and I feel as though we all should live civil and decent lives, with the Lord in our hearts.

I was recently placed in charge of the CABF Morals and Values committee and our first order of business was investigating the internet for sites that are 1) inappropriate for our children and 2) go against the word of our Lord. Your site for the Colorado State Thespians is morally wrong and such depravity should not be supported by a state university.

The Bible makes it very clear that same sex relationships are wrong. It even tells us that thinking about such things is wrong. So when men
advertise that they are gays, preferring the company of men to women, I am disgusted. In your case, when women, or thespians as you call yourselves, seek out sexual relationships with other women, I am equally disgusted.

However, all gays, thespians, and bi-sexuals can be saved if they give up their wicked ways and accept the Lord into their hearts, repenting for
their sinful thoughts and fornication. I demand that you use your website to support saving the souls of these so-called thespians.

I hope that you will understand my concern and use your website to help save people rather than to lead them into a lifetime of perversion and an
enternity of damnation.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Robert Zimmerman

Uh, okay.  First of all, the Colorado State Thespians are not affiliated with any university.  It is a private organization dedicated to providing theatre education to young people.  Secondly, it seems quite clear that Mr. Zimmerman didn’t actually read the website, but must have used some search engine with a *really* fuzzy search to pull up anything that might remotely resemble the naughty words he was looking for.

Nah.  It’s probably just crappy edumacation.

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