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Late Nite FDL: Love is a Dog From Hell


dog from hell

(image found here)

Love will make you drink and gamble
Make you stay out all night long
Love will make you drink and gamble
Make you stay out all night long

Love will make you do things
That you know is wrong

Love is just like the faucet
It turns off and on
Love is just like the faucet
It turns off and on

Sometimes when you think its on baby
It has turned off and gone

(Billie Holiday, "Fine and Mellow")

You know, I just can't seem to get the same vicious thrill that most people seem to be getting out of the story of Lisa Marie Nowak, the astronaut charged with the kidnapping and attempted murder of a romantic rival.  Sure, she wore a diaper on her 950 mile drive to Florida, which certainly is the most important part of the story if you watch the news coverage.  Clearly, we should all be racking our brains for corny puns to use when writing about the incident, because what could be more American that laughing at someone else's pain and suffering?  Would the media be having this much of a field day over a male astronaut's romantic obsession and resulting spectacular misadventure?  Of course not.  Because in the eyes of the massive corporate media machine, women's pain is funny, whereas a man who resorts to violence in the pursuit of love is just being manly and smiting his rivals like all chest-beating male primates are supposed to.

I don't think this story is funny.  I think it's ridiculous and tragic in a Flannery O'Connor kind of way, but I find it anything but funny.  That woman completely lost her grip, and for what?  Love?  Great.  A couple of sweaty fumbles with some cocky pilot, Mr. "More than a Working Relationship, but Less than a Love Relationship", who doubtless led her on, as is the way of people who want to screw someone and then bolt when it comes time to pay the emotional tab.  Her circuits got fried.  Her friends and coworkers insist that she's just a normal person who did something completely random and insane under the influence of A Drug Called 'Love'.  She had, as mission control said when the Challenger exploded, "a major malfunction".

"Expiring for Love is beautiful but stupid.", artist Jenny Holzer from "The Truisms"

And who here has honestly never, ever in their lives done anything stupid for love?  Come on, raise your hands.  We're going to bring up the house lights so that I know who among you is that smug and self-deluded.

Don't get me wrong.  I don't agree with or support her actions at all.  Attempting to murder a romantic rival, to me, is just about as bad a plan as one can possibly come up with except maybe, "Hey!  Let's invade Iraq!  It won't take more than six weeks and we'll be greeted as liberators and showered with flowers and candy!"

But still, Big Media's lurid coverage of this case is off key, out of line, and really, unduly fixated on the salacious details, but of course, why should we expect any different?  There's a woman to be degraded and humiliated here!  Call out Greta Van Suffering

However, having said all of that, I found out today that British-born, half Nigerian NBA star John Amaechi has come out of the closet.  Mmmm-hm.  Six foot nine, 280 pounds, and look at this face:

 john amaechi


Now, I probably wouldn't try to kill anyone who came between me and "Meech", but, well, I can't make any guarantees that I wouldn't do anything crazy or stupid for some of that lovin'.

I'm just saying is all. 

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TRex is a 60-million-year-old theropod who enjoys terrorizing trailer parks, stomping his enemies, and eating things that get in his way or annoy him. He is single and looking for a new boyfriend. He's 60 feet tall, green, with delicate forelimbs, large, sharp teeth, and a lengthy tail. Turn-ons include political activism, bashing conservatives, and volcanoes. Turn-offs are vegetarians, right-wing blogs, and killer asteroids.