Thats why I say, “Hymen, nice shot”

Oh dear.

Tonight we take up the curious case of Dawn Eden.

First to bring you up to speed on Dawn in case you don’t run with the abstinence crowd. Dawn….

“is Dawn Eden Goldstein, was born into a Reform Jewish household. She began writing about independent-label rock music under the abbreviated name Dawn Eden in 1985 for fanzines such as Jersey Beat and the Bob, eventually becoming a popular-music historian, writing for Mojo, Salon, New York Press, Billboard, among other magazines.


In October 1999, Eden, who was by then an agnostic, had what she describes in The Thrill of the Chaste as a “born-again experience” that transformed her into a “committed Christian.”

For those keeping score at home, Dawn Eden (and isn’t Jean Auel kicking herself in the ass for not coming up with that one) was born a Reform Jew, who was reborn as an agnostic and then reborn again as a Christian and currently makes her living as a reborn virgin which leads us to believe that Dawn must carry around an emergency spare placenta in a zip-loc bag in her purse just in case another one of her moodswings hits her when she least expects it. But never mind that, Dawn is out flogging her book, Men Don’t Want To Fuck Thirty-Year Olds…And That Is My Choice where she:

… gives practical advice about how women should relate to their parents (if yours are divorced, as Eden’s are, you should resist the temptation to blame them for bad sexual choices you’ve made) and masturbation (avoid it—you’ll just feel lonely afterward). But trading on familiar (and tired) gender stereotypes, she notes that men lose interest in women who pursue them.

Now is the time when I should say something like ‘different strokes for different folks’ but then I’d just feel lonely afterwards, so I’ll just say that Dawn went to Yale this week to speak with what appears to be a crowd of hot nubile Yalie Abercrombie & Fitch models about keeping their Penises and NotPenises to themselves. But while she was at Yale, she discovered that students were being invited to learn things even when it was voluntary. I mean, What The Let’s-just-cuddle is that all about?

Meanwhile, on the other side of New Haven, student groups at Yale were gearing up for Roe vs. Wade Week. According to the Yale Daily News, the event, presumably subsidized by student activity funds, does more than just promote abortion. The organizers plan to teach attendees — not just medical students, but anyone who shows up — how to perform the “simple procedure”:

On Thursday, the Yale Medical Students for Choice will host workshop on manual vacuum aspiration for medical students, using a papaya as a uterine model. Manual vacuum aspiration is a surgical abortion method that uses a syringe to remove the fetus from a woman’s uterus. Merritt Evans MED ’09 said she thought it was important to have the workshop because the procedure can be used for a variety of different purposes — including miscarriage management and the treatment of a failed medical abortion or ectopic pregnancy — and is inconsistently taught in medical school.

While the workshop is targeted towards medical students, undergraduates are also invited to attend.

“The reason I wanted to include other people is that it is such a simple procedure, but the media attention around it … makes this an emotionally traumatic and a complicated thing,” Evans said. “It’s just to be like, ‘Here is what actually happens, here is what the medical procedure is like, this is what an aborted yolk sac looks like.’ It looks like a piece of cotton.”

It strikes me that Yale’s traditional school songs are horribly outdated in light of the school’s new mission. A $25 Amazon gift certificate to the commenter who composes the best rewrite of one of the school’s anthems. Deadline is midnight tonight. [Update: I’m extending it to 8:30 a.m. EST Friday, January 25.] Remember, do it for God, for country, for Yale, and for all those liberal arts students at one of the country’s finest Ivy League universities who are about to learn how to suction a live baby out of the womb.

You remember that saying: Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Well, that’s probably pretty inappropriate to mention here, so forget I brought it up.

Anyway, Dawn seems disappointed that the students at Yale (who are mere children, almost toddlers) might voluntarily spend time learning how to kill babies instead of coming to hear why she will not bestow her special gift upon them no matter how much they beg her, and wine and dine her, and tell her how much she looks like Annette Bening…only a little older.

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....