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Magical Mystery Meme – I’m It!

Pam’s responses are in an earlier post.  She wrote:

Konagod is responsible for tagging me this time around.

Four of the following stories about me are true, and one is false. Your goal is to figure out which one is the wacky lie….

and then she “tagged” me to do the same.  So here they are – four truths and a lie (read more after the leap):1.  I once spent two hours passing the peace pipe with actor/comedian Rick Overton.  (You may remember him as the sheriff in “Eight Legged Freaks”.  Or you may not.)  We met in San Francisco at the National NORML Conference and his encouragement of my talents was a huge boost as I considered my future as a television and radio personality.

2.  I was the Idaho National Guard’s Soldier of the Year in 1986.  I joined the 25th Army Band of the Idaho National Guard on my 17th birthday as a PFC, was promoted to SP4 upon returning from Basic, and made SGT and squad leader within a year.

3.  I was the first person in my family to ever graduate from college.  My father and mother had both attended in the ’60s but dropped out.  My younger brother graduated four years after I did and my youngest brother is still attending college.

4.  I finished third in my city-wide spelling bee and flunked 6th grade spelling in the same month.  See, I was such a great speller that I would always ace my spelling tests.  Therefore, it seemed to me, doing and turning in all those spelling homework assignments was unnecessary and redundant busy-work — I don’t need practice, I’m already perfect!  Thus I learned the lesson that brains without hard work are a lot like a pair of pantyhose in Heather Mills’ dresser.  (I don’t think that metaphor fits very well, but I liked it so much I had to use it somewhere.)

5.  I have had sexual relations with at least one representative from every letter in the LGBTQ abbreviation.  And straight people, too.  (But not with that woman, Miss Lewinsky!)  In this sense, “sexual relations” is defined as “giving or receiving stimulation to the genitals by hand, mouth, or genitals”.

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