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FDL Late Nite: Person of the Year

Just to piggyback on Atrios' naming of the Dirty Fucking Hippie as "Person of the Year," I thought I'd give Fred Hiatt and the other oh so serious Wise Men and Women of the DC cocktail weenie set an example of How To Cope With the Rise of the DFH's.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Lawrence Welk, 1969.
I got nothin' else.  Consider this an open holiday weekend thread.
Is your family on your nerves yet?  Any fun family scandal or dish?
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Pachacutec did not, as is commonly believed, die in 1471. To escape the tragic sight of his successors screwing up the Inca Empire he’d built, he fled east into the Amazon rain forest, where he began chewing lots of funky roots to get higher than Hunter Thompson ever dared. Oddly, these roots gave him not only a killer buzz, but also prolonged his life beyond what any other mortal has known, excluding Novakula. Whatever his doubts of the utility of living long enough to see old friends pop up in museums as mummies, or witness the bizarrely compelling spectacle of Katherine Harris, he’s learned a thing or two along the way. For one thing, he’s learned the importance of not letting morons run a country, having watched the Inca Empire suffer many civil wars requiring the eventual ruler to gain support from the priests and the national military. He now works during fleeting sober moments to build a vibrant progressive movement sufficiently strong and sustainable to drive a pointed stake through the heart of American “conservatism” forever. He enjoys a gay marriage, classic jazz and roots for the New York Mets.