FDL Book Salon: Great War on Christmas Gifts
It is time for us to perpetuate the War on Christmas by indulging in secular humanist gift-giving. It is critical to our liberal way of life. As the Bible says, "we hold these truths to be self-evident":
Some might argue that eliminating Christmas would be a tremendous waste of both the public’s time and good will, and that Democrats should instead focus on implementing policies to raise the minimum wage or let the government negotiate for lower prescription drug prices. You know, things that might help people.
This argument is, to put it politely, a stinking pile of rubbish. What many liberals and progressives don’t seem to understand is that banning Christmas is the linchpin of our entire agenda. As Mr. O’Reilly once astutely noted, the war on Christmas is “part of the secular-progressive agenda to get Christianity and spirituality and Judaism out of the public square” and pave the way for “secular progressive programs like legalization of narcotics, euthanasia, abortion at will, [and] gay marriage.” When the man is right, he's right.
I for one understand that Christmas is the only thing standing between me and my lifelong dream of euthanizing my relatives, grabbing their inheritance, buying lots of drugs, getting a sex change, and marrying a lesbian. If Nancy Pelosi is as dedicated to her San Francisco values as the conservative media say she is, then she should put ending Christmas and subsidizing my lifestyle at the top of her legislative agenda. After all, if Speaker Pelosi decided to forsake destroying Christmas in favor other policies, it could signal that the right-wing punditocracy has been exaggerating the left’s ambitions to abolish religion from the public square all along. And, really, what are the chances of that?
Today Jesus' General will be joining us in the comments section to discuss his own suggestions for gifts suitable for the French. And I would like to put in my own recommendation for the Brave New Films box set of documentaries, which I got recently as a gift and am absolutely thrilled about.
So, please feel free to discuss your recommendations for gifts which will destroy the spirit of Christmas, and bring out the inner godless father-raping secularist in all of us.