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WND's Kevin McCullough and the nuts and bolts of procreation

You got blood vessels and membranes in your behind. And if you put something unnatural in there, it breaks them all up. No wonder your behind is bleeding. It’s destroying us. Can’t make no connection with a screw and another screw. The Bible says God made them male and female. The Hebrew word Negade, which means complimentary nature – there is something unique to man and unique to woman and it takes those two things to compliment each other. You can’t make a connection with two screws. It takes a screw and a nut! (shouting)…”
–D.C. pastor Rev. Willie Wilson during a sermon.

If I didn’t know better, I would have guessed that WND’s Kevin McCullough was sitting in the pews at the Rev. Willie Wilson’s Union Temple Baptist Church in Southeast D.C. when the pastor unleashed the above diatribe, which was caught on audiotape.

At the very least, perhaps McCullough listened to the recording for inspiration as he punched out Why would ‘gays’ want children? for WingNutDaily. Mary Cheney and Heather Poe are having a baby — and what that proves is heterosexuality is superior. Read on for the twisted logic.

Is there a more obvious product of heterosexual behavior than the creation of children? If so, then isn’t it somewhat peculiar that those who shun the behavior of heterosexuality so deeply crave the product that it brings?

…Two women who desire children cannot achieve satisfaction, because their sexual union is incapable of producing it. And this is fully true, even if all parties involved have healthy, fully functional reproductive biology.

Jeebus H. Christ. He’s brought it all down to penis envy. The dick rules. Mary and Heather need the holy pee-pee to be happy and procreate, but those damned lesbian impulses get in the way.

How does that explain het couples who can’t conceive. He has an answer for that as well, It’s just a short circuit in God’s design.  There’s some serious dysfunction going on after the flip.

If a man and wife struggle with infertility, it is because of biological breakdown. What God designed to work a certain way short-circuited. He has low sperm count. She doesn’t produce eggs as she should. They have trouble getting the two together. The biological dysfunction is not voluntary. They have sexual intercourse time and time again, but because of the faulty genetics in the machinery they are unable to complete the conception. And should medicine ever develop a cure for whatever that specific breakdown might be, there will be no problem for the couple, through natural sexual engagement, to have a child.

Not so with Cheney and her partner. If they were to choose to engage in sex acts a thousand times over, their biological machinery would never produce what is needed – but for a different reason. There is no dysfunction in this case. Instead, the reason the sexual engagement does not work is because the necessary parts are not even present. It is the equivalent of screwing a nut onto a bolt, by using a hammer. They just don’t fit.

So the “parts don’t fit” argument is really all we’re talking about here, because, in McCullough’s perfect world, not only marriage, but artificial insemination should be the sole province of heterosexual couples, since it is a proxy for God’s plan when the parts don’t function properly. Has anyone looked that up in the Bible?

Wait, I’ve heard that bit about the parts bleated by another stellar mind, an elected official, back in August.

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If the parts don’t fit…

There are those who argue that a homosexual marriage would be no different than a heterosexual marriage. Obviously, this is not true. While the marriage of a man and woman has a potential life-giving procreative power, a homosexual marriage is a dead-end street…In life, there are some things that just are – a circle is a circle, a square is a square, and a marriage is between a man and a woman.
— the wisdom of Rep. Bill Dunn, R-Knoxville (16th district in the Tennessee Legislature) in an op-ed for the Knoxville News

McCullough continues in his bible-thumping logical gymnastics, attacking Cheney saying lacks morals by bringing a child into society “who from the outcome is told that her second mommy is the equivalent of a true father?” Of course he goes on to tie it back to biblical conventions because, sadly, he longs for a theocracy that could impose the correct procreative plan on women like Cheney and Poe who are out of line.

In normal relationships, the privacy and intimacy of the act of procreation is a spiritual and beautiful thing. In the sexual acts of women who sleep together, that adequacy will be something they always long for and never have the satisfaction of knowing, thus undermining the fidelity of what they believe their relationship to be.

…Children are the undeniable product of the superiority of heterosexual engagement. And since homosexual behavior in large terms wishes to throw off the weight of conventional sexuality, I am curious as to why they would desire to reinforce the inferiority of their sexual behavior.

Sometimes you have to just let these people hang themselves with their own words.

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Pam Spaulding

Pam Spaulding