Like using salt to catch a snail

Brainwashed RoboBride and former human, Katie Holmes figures if this doesn’t work, nothing will:

Tom Cruise’s bride-to-be went to Le Bra Lingerie in West Hollywood and spent more than $3,000 on lacy underthings, more than $1,000 of which was for a “bridal collection” set.

Among the purchases: a Chantilly lace bridal collection, reports a source. Among the goodies: a bra that cost $440, a $340 thong, a garter belt for $220, and silk stockings that went for $95 — for a total of $1,190.

Additionally, Holmes picked out a silk nightgown with a matching robe trimmed with ostrich feathers that set her back $620, a lace bra with Swarovski crystals for $380 and matching thong with crystals for $175, as well as two sets of silk pajamas and matching robes at $425 each.

“They weren’t all white — and they certainly weren’t virginal,” says the source. “But she’s a mom, so I guess that’s appropriate.”

Do you know how many e-meters you can buy for $3000?

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....