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Lunchtime funnies: Chuck Norris on the election

Meet WingNutDaily’s newest columnist, the king of blowing sh*t up onscreen, and superpatriot, Mr. Delta Force himself — actor Chuck Norris, with “The battlefields for freedom.”

At the heart of this war is a head-on clash between traditional and ”secular-progressive” camps. Will we become a country, in which licentiousness and lawlessness reign? Or will we maintain being a traditional nation, based upon the values and philosophies that our forefathers established?

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I am an unashamed traditional warrior. What that means to me is that I believe our country was founded upon conservative faith and values, and that it will only be sustained by them as well.

…With the culture wars at full tilt, it is somewhat surprising that expected voter turn out is forecasted as low as 35 percent. This is particularly troubling since Democrats only need to pick up six seats to gain a majority in the 100-seat Senate. They need only 15 seats out of the 435-seat House to achieve their first majority since being swept out of power in 1994.

To not vote is simply a vote for the opposition. As British statesman Edmund Burke once said, “Evil flourishes when good men do nothing.”

…I figure if the media can rally behind an actor when he takes a stand for stem-cell research, they can equally back me when I support the war and our troops, increasing border control or voting for Governor Rick Perry in my home state of Texas.

Lord, voting for governor homo-hating Blow Dry…that’s all I need to know. What would Jesus blow up for family entertainment?

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Pam Spaulding

Pam Spaulding