Your problem is obvious

Teenagers are abandoning the church because they figured out it’s bullshit and that has the guys with no job skills worried about who will pay for their lifestyles and their hookers in the future:

Despite their packed megachurches, their political clout and their increasing visibility on the national stage, evangelical Christian leaders are warning one another that their teenagers are abandoning the faith in droves.

At an unusual series of leadership meetings in 44 cities this fall, more than 6,000 pastors are hearing dire forecasts from some of the biggest names in the conservative evangelical movement.


The board of the National Association of Evangelicals, an umbrella group representing 60 denominations and dozens of ministries, passed a resolution this year deploring “the epidemic of young people leaving the evangelical church.”

Among the leaders speaking at the meetings are Ted Haggard, president of the evangelical association; the Rev. Jerry Falwell; and nationally known preachers like Jack Hayford and Tommy Barnett.

Okay, let’s stop right here and introduce Ted Haggard:

Jerry Falwell

Jack Hayford

and Tommy Barnett

..and they wonder why the kids run away.

What they need is someone who knows what kids like, who has his finger on the pulse of young America. Someone who speaks their language. Someone like

I hear he’s available.

Oh, like you didn’t see that coming…

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....