IM Stumped

Since Internet wiz Ted Stevens wasn’t available, Louis Freeh has stepped into the breach to investigate Republicans and The Boys They Measure (also known as Hastert and The Angry Inch):

Sources said Speaker Dennis Hastert (R-Ill.) will announce today that former FBI Director Louis Freeh will oversee an investigation of the House page program, which has been rocked in recent days by the scandal surrounding resigned Rep. Mark Foley (R-Fla.).

That would be this Louis Freeh:

Arching above all of these failures of intelligence was a general failure of understanding. Since you point to Louis Freeh, I’ll use him as a prime example. Freeh personified the Irish/Italian-male-Catholic culture of the bureau, which worked well enough when the mafia was the main threat the FBI encountered, but proved a real handicap in dealing with al-Qaida. Freeh was stiff-necked and independent, important qualities in the nation’s top lawman, but he was also prone to nursing personal slights, famously so with Clinton, which affected the standing of the bureau and drove it deep into partisan waters. He actually surrendered his White House pass, saying he would go there only as a visitor. The rift between the bureau and the White House meant that communication broke down at a crucial time—exactly during the period that al-Qaida was making its plans for 9/11. Freeh was also a technophobe whose first action, upon taking office in 1993, was to toss out his computer. By the time he resigned, in June 2001, the bureau’s computers were so out of date that even church groups would not accept them. Meantime, al-Qaida was marrying technology and terror in a way the bureau was unable to counter.

Freeh’s first order of business will be to have all of the congressional IBM Selectrics empounded.

Then he’ll have Wen Ho Lee arrested.

Because the classics never go out of style.

(Added) Dammit…Pelosi shot Freeh down. Meanwhile Hastert:

House Speaker Dennis Hastert apologized and took responsibility on Thursday for the unfolding page sex scandal involving fellow Republican Mark Foley.

“Ultimately, the buck stops here,” he told a news conference.

Hastert, who will still stay on as leader of House Republicans, according to a House GOP official, had wanted former FBI director Louis Freeh to examine the page system and make recommendations on how to improve the program.

In issues of child abuse allegations, stepping forward and saying the “buck stops here” without any personal repercussions is what is known as “Playing the Pope” or “The Cardinal Rule“. Later today Denny will go shopping for a funny hat.

Funny hats always take people’s minds off of bad things,…or bad touches for that matter.

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....