I boinked the mistress,
but I did not put my hands round’er neck.

Congressional assault victim.
Fashion hasn’t been too kind to her either…

Rep. Don ” The Mistress Strangler” Sherwood (R-At Least He’s Not Fucking Teenaged Boys) takes to the airwaves to say, “Please baby, give me one more chance“:

Rep. Don Sherwood, a Republican fighting for re-election in northeastern Pennsylvania, says in a TV ad that he is “truly sorry” for cheating on his wife but denies ever abusing the woman he had the affair with.

In the ad, he acknowledges that the affair nearly cost him the love of his wife and his daughters. He said his family has worked through it “because of my deep regret, our love and the fact that the allegation of abuse was never true.”

“While I’m truly sorry for disappointing you, I never wavered from my commitment to reduce taxes, create jobs and bring home our fair share,” Sherwood said, addressing viewers. “Should you forgive me, you can count on me to keep on fighting hard for you and your family.”

I think “fighting hard” was a poor choice of words, but for some people it’s cheaper than Viagra.

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....