In defense of Denny Hastert

With David Dreier looking on, Dennis Hastert
illustrates the Illinois AssGrab takedown move

I hate to see Clarice Feldman and John Hinderaker flailing about attempting to defend Dennis Hastert from accusations that he ignored Mark Foley’s pedophillic predilection for IMing teenaged pages (and if there is God he will force Danielle Crittenden to write a parody of them to make up for her crapulent George Bush ones). So, in the interest of bipartisan across-the-aisle reaching-arrounding, I thought I would remind everyone that, prior to assuming a position that puts him a few heartbeats away from the presidency (those being the erratic systolic and diastolic surgings of Dick Cheney; not that his own cholesterol-clogged waterways would offer a Fantastic Voyage-like flume ride), Dennis Hastert was a high school wrestling coach who once led the Yorkville High School Foxes to the Illinois State Wrestling Championship (you can look it up).

To Denny, the sight of a grown man tussling with the firm supple scantily-clad body of a young man, his body covered in a sheen of perspiration, heart-racing, turgid with fear and excitement and possibly desire — is probably as natural as those late night phone calls from a sobbing Ken Mehlman who has just watched Morte a Venezia for the umpteenth time.

So there.

Denny and the Republicans can thank me later…

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....