TBogg

Now playing the Bible Belt circuit

Okay…okay…so this minister and his mom walk into an outhouse…

I’m glad to see that Jerry Falwell, has finally learned how to make a joke

The Rev. Jerry Falwell acknowledged on Sunday saying that if Hillary Rodham Clinton were the Democrats’ presidential nominee in 2008, it would motivate conservative evangelical Christians to oppose her more than if the devil himself were running.

Falwell said in a telephone interview that his comments to several hundred pastors and religious activists at the “Value Voter Summit” conference were “totally tongue-in-cheek.”

“I certainly hope that Hillary is the candidate,” Falwell said at a breakfast session Friday in Washington. “I hope she’s the candidate, because nothing will energize my (constituency) like Hillary Clinton,” he said. “If Lucifer ran, he wouldn’t.”

Clinton press secretary Philippe Reines said Sunday, “Working for someone who believes in the Golden Rule, we’re not going to engage in such vitriolic discourse — but it seems that a new low has been reached in demonizing political opponents.”

Falwell told the AP that he did not intend to demonize the former first lady. “That was totally tongue-in-cheek and everyone in the building knew that and everyone laughed,” Falwell said.

And yes, that’s a hoot and all that, but here’s one that’s a real knee-slapper about Jerry losing his virginity:

Jerry Falwell: My first time was in an outhouse outside Lynchburg, Virginia

Interviewer: Wasn’t it a little cramped?

Falwell: Not after I kicked the goat out.

Interviewer: I see. You must tell me all about it.

Falwell: I never really expected to make it with Mom, but then after she showed all the other guys in town such a good time, I figured, “What the hell!”

Interviewer: But your Mom? Isn’t that a little odd?

Falwell: I don’t think so. Looks don’t mean that much to me in a woman.

Interviewer: Go on.

Falwell: Well, we were drunk off our God-fearing asses on Campari, ginger ale and soda—that’s called a Fire and Brimstone—at the time. And Mom looked better than a Baptist whore with a $100 donation

Interviewer: Campari in the crapper with Mom. how interesting.. .Well how was it?

Falwell: The Campari was great but mom passed out before I could come.

Interviewer: Did you ever try it again?

Falwell: Sure. Lots of times. But not in the outhouse. Between Mom and the shit, the flies were too much to bear.

Interviewer: We meant the Campari.

Falwell: Oh, yeah, I always get sloshed before I go to the pulpit. You don’t think I could lay down all that bullshit sober do you?

The classics never get old.

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....