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DeLay’s Dilemma

Let’s say you’re Tom DeLay. It’s February 2006, and your legal defense fund is beginning to run dry.Well, not just run dry. It’s already running a deficit. You’re already polling behind your Democratic opponent in the polls, and you haven’t even won the primary yet. Thing is, you consider the three people running against you disloyal. Fuck ’em. Who are they to accuse the Hammer of corruption? So you stay in the race just to prevent one of them from benefiting from the misfortune of Tom DeLay. No problem. You can whup their asses in the primary and just deal with getting a candidate later.

Fast forward to Summer 2006. At this point, you’ve got $1.4 million in your campaign fund, with $1 million in unpaid legal bills. With lots more legal bills to come. And your Democratic opponent has $2 million in his campaign chest. You know you’re not going to win your seat. In fact, all your colleagues want you out, ASAP, because you’re making them look like crooks. And frankly, with the Legal Defense Fund donations slowing down, it’s beginning to look like you’ll need to use all of your campaign funds to pay the lawyers. And shit, they haven’t even gotten Buckham yet. There’s a while ‘nother legal case on the Abramoff charges, that’s coming down the pike.

So you just ask the head of the TX GOP party to declare you ineligible. Tell them I’m from VA, now. Those Democrats won’t do anything about it. They’re a bunch of pansies. Right?

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