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Put us down for a nuke…maybe two

Let’s face it: outside of Bechtel and Halliburton and Lockheed and a few other contributers to George W. Bush, war just isn’t very profitable. In the good old days you could at least count on invading countries and carrying off some pretty nice booty (back when ‘booty‘ meant “plunder taken from an enemy in time of war” as opposed to, well, “ass“). But these days, we can barely afford to field an army and invade a brown country every time the neo-cons get bored after brunch or going to the batting cages and seeing how far they can club a pitched puppy. So, taking a cue from underfunded cities who sell naming rights to their stadiums (if there is a god we will someday have Cialis Stadium …probably in Green Bay) maybe the military could sell naming rights to their companys or platoons. For a negotiated annual fee a company or even a private citizen could sponsor their very own team (so to speak) with allowances made for some modest advertising or promotional space on the uniforms. Something subtle and camouflagey; this isn’t NASCAR, afterall.

The Ford&#153 US Army Rangers? Marketing genius!

You would also have the added benefit of allowing members of the 101st Fighting Keyboarders to buy in as team owners which would allow them to say, subject to less ridicule than usual, that “they” are fighting the evildoers when it is really their team that is actually doing the fighting. I mean, George Steinbrenner always says “we” when talking about the Yankees and I have yet to see him put in any time at first base…not that he couldn’t play it better than Giambi, but that’s not important right now.

So you might ask, “Tom (that’s me…see below). Where are you going with this?”

And I would answer (or at least type), “Well, I was reading this…”:

Two American soldiers Thursday described in gruesome detail how their comrades allegedly killed three blindfolded Iraqi detainees, one of whom was covered in brain matter and another who spit blood during his dying moments.

The soldiers testified during a military hearing to decide if the four soldiers should face a military court-martial on murder charges for allegedly killing the Iraqis after detaining them in a house on May 9 near Samarra, 60 miles north of Baghdad.


Bivens said as he approached, he knew immediately that two were no longer living based on their wounds. Referring to one victim, he said: “There is no way that he could have been alive considering there was brain on the ground.”

Bivens said he never heard a discussion among the accused of a plan to kill the detainees. He also said he doesn’t recall brigade commander Col. Michael Steele ordering the soldiers to “kill all military-aged males,” as others in the unit have alleged.

At least one of the accused has said orders from Steele were to “kill all military-aged males” on the day of the mission. Several witnesses offered variations to the order in testimony, including restricting fatal shots to only those who failed to surrender.

…and I was reminded of this:

What if the tactical mistake we made in Iraq was that we didn’t kill enough Sunnis in the early going to intimidate them and make them so afraid of us they would go along with anything? Wasn’t the survival of Sunni men between the ages of 15 and 35 the reason there was an insurgency and the basic cause of the sectarian violence now?

If you can’t imagine George W. Bush issuing such an order, is there any American leader you could imagine doing so?

I think the Pod meant someone besides Col. Michael Steele. But then I thought, John Podhoretz is the kind of American leader that I could imagine issuing such an order and…. if he had his own “team” in Iraq… maybe called the “Pod Squad”………..

Let’s just say that I’m sure that Norm and Midge might be willing to advance him a portion of his inheritance on spec to kill some Islamojihadifarians right now. Think of it as an investment in the Saving of Western Civilization As They Imagine It Should Be Saved.

By the way…I want a 15% brokerage fee dropping to 10% on annual renewals with options on wars still in the development stages or in turnaround.

Call me. We’ll do brunch.

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....