CommunityPam's House Blend

Men of Purity

There’s nothing like a good fundie advice column. I don’t know how I ended up on this Pure Life Ministries web site, but what caught my eye was this “Ask Steve: Questions from Men” self-help section, and this very odd, non-specific question from a man who’s desperately trying to deal with something.

> Q: I have had a sexual fetish for many years now. The closer I get to God the more depressed I get and I feel like he is removing it from me. But, I want God and the fetish. Where does this leave me?

Gee, can we learn more about what this man is talking about? No matter, Steve has a handle on things for the poor soul.

> A: This leaves you in the unhappy position of trying to “have your cake and eat it too.” There is no person more miserable than the one who attempts to live the Christian life and hold onto his sin at the same time.

I cannot tell you how grateful to God I am for the phenomenon you are describing. The most unhappy period of my life was the two years after I came to the Lord and continued in my sexual sin. Like yourself, I wanted God without relinquishing the idol of sexual pleasure that had been the focus of my life for many years. Where would I be today had it not been for the misery that comes with sexual sin? I would probably still be living in defeat all these years later. “The pleasures of sin last for a season.” After that, a person will begin to face the inevitable inward emptiness of sin. God used my misery to bring me into real repentance.

He has more advice for the hairy palm set in his article, The Dangerous Mindset of Lust.

For instance, if we are talking about a godly man who “walks with the Lord,” but then-in a moment of uncharacteristic weakness-succumbs to temptation and lusts or masturbates, but repents and gets back on track, that would rightly be termed “stumbling.” On the other hand, the word stumble would not be the appropriate term to use for the man who regularly indulges in lust or masturbation. His sin is causing him to fall away from the living God.

Many men I have dealt with over the years have deceived themselves about their sin. They like to say that they “struggle” with lust or masturbation, when the truth is that there really isn’t any struggle going on at all: they regularly give over to the passions of their flesh. Peter described men like this in the Church of his day: “They have eyes full of harlotry, insatiable for sin. They beguile and bait and lure away unstable souls. Their hearts are trained in covetousness (lust, greed)â€? Forsaking the straight road they have gone astrayâ€?” (II Peter 2:14-15 AMP)

Is it me, or are these folks having a problem dealing with sexual urges and they seem to be unable to pray them away, because it just keeps happening. I guess that’s why Pure Life has something called the The Men of Purity Weekend, a three-day seminar on how to control the “little head” with the “big head.”

These weekends are a time for men to address sexual purity head-on-all men. They are a great opportunity for fathers to bring their sons, even if they are young teenagers. The reality of our culture is that even boys as young as 12 and 13 are dealing with sexual temptation daily. They will often benefit as much as their dads will from the teachings that will be presented.

For those willing to shell out $875, you can buy your own Men of Purity “All-In-One” Teaching Package to hold the seminars yourself and invite 25 of your struggling friends to commisserate about sexual sin. The package includes:

Men of Purity Weekend on 4 DVDs
Session 1: Overcoming Lust Pt. 1, Understanding the Real Problem
Session 2: Overcoming Lust Pt. 2, Understanding our Enemy
Session 3: A Personal Testimony of Victory
Session 4: Understanding True Repentance

At the Altar of Sexual Idolatry
Counseling the Sexual Addict
How America Lost Her Innocence

Again, these people think about sex an awful lot. Has it ever occurred to them that if they stopped fixating on sex acts and who is doing what that perhaps they can concentrate on more important matters, like say, helping those less fortunate? You know that a good number of these Men of Purity are the ones out cruising in the shadows or caught with their pants down in adult bookstores/videoshops, etc. because they just can’t stop thinking about sinning.

And we all know that this pathology manifests itself in strident homobigotry, womb control efforts and general sexual obsession about what other people’s intimate lives might be like.

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Pam Spaulding

Pam Spaulding