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Late Nite FDL: How Sharper Than a Serpent’s Tooth!


"How sharper than a serpent’s tooth, to have a thankless child." (Shakespeare, King Lear)

Okay, here’s the problem.

Today, Republican members of Congress trotted out a resolution to condemn the New York Times for publication of stories detailing leaks about the federal government’s various secret programs.  Particularly the ones that give Dubya and friends the right to peer into your phone records, financial transactions, and who knows what else without ever having to show a judge what they’re doing and why.  It’s quite a seething circle-jerk of manufactured Rightard outrage out there, and you can see its most execrable manifestations all over the blogs of people like Michelle "Anchor Baby" Malkin and the other Pajamas Media underachievers, including some amateurish and sophomoric manipulations of World War Two propaganda flyers

Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t this the same New York Times that was instrumental in carrying the administration’s water on Saddam’s WMD’s?  It seems to me that the folks over at Pox News who are calling for Bill Keller’s head on a platter should remember the debt of thanks they owe to a certain humiliated and discredited shill named Judy Miller.  They should be sending her flowers every day for her (*cough!*) courageous work playing the role of breathless and quivering stenographer to the office of the Vice President, the woman who so fervently believed in Saddam’s stockpiles of nukes that she donned desert fatigues and saddled up her own army unit to go on a fruitless snipe hunt in the sands of Tikrit and Badhdad, just to the north, south, and east of there, wasn’t it?

At that juncture, it seemed like the Fourth Reich just looooooooved them some New York Times. Dick Cheney and Condi Rice both pointed to Mata Whori Miller’s articles as justifications for their posture toward Iraq in 2002.

And I’m not even going to go into the slavish devotion with which the Times lapped up every sticky, salacious drop of Ken Starr’s leaks during the Clinton Impeachment, or their recent speculations on whether or not Bill and Hilly still, you know, do it .

But now that at least some small faction of the Times newsroom staff has decided to spit the NeoCon bit out of its mouth and do some real reporting on the Administration’s illegal activites?  It’s time for a Wingnut Fatwah on the NYT!  Those dirty New York City Liberals are trying to undermine our national security, Maw!  We better git em!!

Fortunately, I think this little bit of political kabuki is going to work as well at stopping leaks to the press as the Gay Marriage Amendment is going to make those queers keep their hands off each other, and slightly less well than the Anti-Flag Burning Amendment is going to stop, well, anything, really.  The Republican Congress is really outdoing themselves in bureaucratic posturing and coughing up do-nothing legislation this year, aren’t they? 

But can you imagine for a second just how bad it would be if we really did live in Michelle Malkin’s America?  (The one she wouldn’t even be allowed to live in because her parents were illegal immigrants who strategically squeezed out  little Michelle, an ‘anchor baby’, on American soil in a successful bid to get US citizenship?)  Imagine if it was nothing but Faux News all the freakin’ time, 24-7 BushCo propaganda?  Things in Iraq are FABULOUS!!  The President WALKS ON WATER!!  Donald Rumsfeld is a military and strategic GENIUS!!

Gaaaaaaah.  If it came down to a choice between Malkin America and America under the Taliban?  I’d take my chances with the Taliban, thanks.  At least under those guys, Malkin would be wrapped from head to foot in a burkha and forced to SHUT THE FUCK UP and go sit quietly in another part of the house.

It would almost be worth it. 

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TRex is a 60-million-year-old theropod who enjoys terrorizing trailer parks, stomping his enemies, and eating things that get in his way or annoy him. He is single and looking for a new boyfriend. He's 60 feet tall, green, with delicate forelimbs, large, sharp teeth, and a lengthy tail. Turn-ons include political activism, bashing conservatives, and volcanoes. Turn-offs are vegetarians, right-wing blogs, and killer asteroids.