Face the Snark
For the week ending 6/24…
"Kos . . . controls . . . the Gambino crime family?!"
Well, it’s been a tumultuous week – Geraldo Rivera wallowing in his own inadequacies (which is, admittedly, preferable to drawing Marine combat locations in the sand for the cameras), Ricky Sanitorium taking one for the team by declaring that WMDs really do exist, BushCo. rifling through bank records without asking first, and the stunning revelation by Jason Zengerle at The New Republic that Markos Moulitsas Zuniga is, in fact, a power-mad, domineering, mercenary agent of Beelzebub. As I made my way through the fevered swamp of the left, it was this story that generated the most snark:
Only because I am incredibly biased, I have to start off with the inestimable James Wolcott, who admits that he "briefly met Kos . . . and was quite disappointed by how genial and low-key he was. Perhaps he was having an off-day, since those more astute than I perceive an angry radioactive core."
The Rude Pundit is in high dudgeon over this latest blogfuffle and confides that "Markos Moulitsas looks smaller on TV than in person. He is actually seven feet tall, with hands that could crush a bowling ball. He sharpens his teeth by chewing beer bottles, and the rumor is that he shot Billmon just for snoring. He scares us all because he enters our villages and eats our livestock at night. Please help us, TNR, please end the tyranny."
The intrepid and delightfully anarchic Thers reveals damning correspondence from Kosferatu to his minions, one of whom is revealed to be none other than one Christine Harding Smythe. Hmmm….
Gavin M. at Sadly, No! exposes more devilish dictates from the Townhouse Tyrant, including this missive: "I’ve told TBogg to focus on local political races and to work the slogan, “Had enough?” into his posts, but he keeps doing that same old basset hound stuff again and again. Also, yesterday was Hat Day, and TBogg was not wearing a hat."
TBogg fires back with his own analysis of the Great Debacle: "Jason seems to think that he has a big scoop here which puts him in line to be the next Bob Woodward and with that comes fame, fortune and the inevitable selling out."
Lindsay at Majikthese calls it like she sees it: "We all need a little extra attention from time to time. Besides, trolling is a central plank of TNR’s new business model."
Roger Ailes (no, not THAT one) summarizes all of this TNR stupidity in one sentence. But what a sentence. Ah, brevity.
And now for something completely different:
And speaking of videos, Crooks & Liars tells Geraldo the Combat Veteran not to bogart that spliff.
Norbizness, the demon behind Happy Furry Puppy Story Time, synopsizes all that is wrong with Ricky Retardo Santorum: "Another nail in the coffin encasing American greatness: somebody this stupid and desperate can still command followers who have more than a grade-school education."
Roy, at alicublog, discovers "the string theory of wingnuttia" in a debate about fatherhood between John "An 18 Year-Old Girl is Past Her Prime" Derbyshire and Jonah "Doughy Pantload" Goldberg. It’s stunning.
General J.C. Christian appreciates the scent of a manwhore.
Until next week, when I’m sure we’ll all still be laughing about mewling David Brooks and his rabid lambs …