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Those wild and crazy Southern Baptists

Holy rolling was in full flower at the annual meeting of the Southern Baptist Convention, which wrapped today in Greensboro. In fact there was an appearance today by Condi, of all people, who tried to massage the message of Dear Leader for the bible thumpers. How about this flaming pile o’ manure:


“The weight of international leadership is not borne easily, but we as Americans are more than equal to this challenge, and we must be, for if we imagine a world without American leadership we are led inescapably to this solemn conclusion: If America does not serve great purposes, if we do not rally other nations to fight intolerance and support peace and defend freedom, and to help give all hope who suffer oppression, then our world will drift toward tragedy…We go into the world not to plunder but to protect; not to subjugate but to liberate; not as masters, but as servants of freedom.”

O-M-G. Is there any doubt that she said this with a straight face?

In other news from the convention, the SBC elected Rev. Frank Page, pastor of First Baptist Church in Taylors, South Carolina as its new fearless leader. Actually he needs to be a little fearless because the outgoing president left him with a whale of a task – converting one miiillllion victims into Baptists.

Another issue that has been taken up at the annual meeting is the SBC’s progress toward outgoing president Bobby Welch’s goal of baptizing one million new converts in the year that began last October 1. With less than four months remaining until the deadline, only a few thousand new baptisms have been reported, and many Southern Baptists feel a miracle might be required to put the benchmark within reach.

Not to worry. Page received a little motivation from Rev. Fred Luter of Franklin Avenue Baptist Church in New Orleans.

“The Holy Spirit will give us new power,” Luter continued, “power to walk right, power to talk right, power to preach right, power to sing right, power to serve right, power that enables us to share the gospel, power that enables us to witness, power that enables us evangelize, power that enables us to win the lost at any cost!”

With all that excitement, what could possibly top that? How about a return to Prohibition? I hope those Baptists partied hard the night before this little topic came up.

The resolution dealing with alcohol use by SBC members not only expressed opposition to the drinking of alcohol but also stipulated that no one who does so may be elected to serve with any entity of the denomination.

A messenger from Florida spoke against the anti-alcohol resolution. “I do not think that we can be more holy than Jesus Christ,” he said. “Christ turned water into wine. If indeed, as we have said, this is a matter of Christian liberty, then we cannot at the same time say that this is a matter of righteousness.”

Another messenger, however, encouraged support of the measure from a personal perspective. “I spent two years and seven months in prison, and it all started with drinking beer when I was eight years old,” the delegate said. “I think that we as Southern Baptists — but, more importantly, we as Christians — need to take a stand against something that’s destroying our nation.”

The resolution, my friends, was approved.

How long will this measure hold out? I predict more churches will leave the SBC flock over this controlling BS.

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Pam Spaulding

Pam Spaulding