Six Months of Do or Die
(guest blog by Taylor Marsh)
They’ve got an idea and it’s just got to work. There are six months to get it done, with no other way out. Because if George W. Bush loses Congress to the Democrats his presidency is beyond collapsed, it’s finished, kaput, Karl bar the door. It will be hello subpoena power, good-bye presidential propaganda, because it just won’t work anymore. There are five steps Bush and Bolten have decided will keep Congress, one more short-sighted than the next, but it doesn’t matter. It’s all about now.
First stop, President Bush is going to bail on immigration fairness, proving once and for all he’s conservative with his compassion. It’s bring home the base, baby, and let someone else worry about the people. Hispanics and Latinos will just have to understand that it’s all about George W. Bush. After all, what good is a constituency if your whole Administration is spending their time testifying, while your own lawyer claims executive privilege for the last few years of an already interminably long presidency?
I’m going to start with the last item on the list TIME magazine is reporting, working backwards to my favorite. This first one is a hoot.
5 COURT THE PRESS.
Maybe this has to do with hiring Tony Snow to take McClellan’s place. Either that or they’re going to formally announce that Brit Hume is taking over First Lady Laura Bush’s duties, because she’s being sent out to campaign for Bush and Deadeye, since no one wants to see either of their faces.
4 RECLAIM SECURITY CREDIBILITY.
How’s Bush going to pull this one off? The path is through Iran, because Iraq cannot be salvaged and Bush knows Democrats will not back nukes, so he’s going to try the same bravado that had the CIA scurrying for the mattresses before Iraq. Bush and Bolten are betting that the American public still want to see a macho man facing down our enemies. We’ll see your madman in Iran, and raise him one cowboy. But do the American people want Iran to look like Iraq?
3 BRAG MORE.
Two words for you: about what? The economy? If he does that Bush will sound like he’s sending love letters to Exxon-Mobil’s Mr. Raymond, which Deadeye already did.
2 MAKE WALL STREET HAPPY.
If they’re unhappy, just imagine how the middle class feels. Besides, were you aware Wall Street was unhappy? See #3 above.
Now comes my favorite part of the Bush-Bolten plan. This one is priceless.
1 DEPLOY GUNS AND BADGES.
It’s "mission accomplished" without the jet and the aircraft carrier, but keeping the cod piece in place, while standing along the Mexican-American border, with Bush flanked by new border agents, ATVs and lots of guns showing so people know the president means business at the border. It’s the right-wing radio bone that is intended to bring the base home.
Next shot: Lou Dobbs praising the president for his sane approach to border security. Cue Tony Snow.