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Late Nite FDL: A Trip to the Bigot Buffet

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(tonight’s guest poster is SZ from World O’Crap)

After Ann Coulter was criticized for referring to Arabs as "rag heads" in her speech before the Conservative Political Action Conference, the chairman of the Michigan GOP (which had hired Ann to do a fundraiser for them later that month) praised Ann’s presentation as "motivational." He added that he while he didn’t condone her racial slur, it was just part of her "schtick as a commentator," and she had merely "excited the troops, threw them a lot of red meat."

In the bigotosphere, you can get red meat bigotry to rival that of Ann from such sites as the comments sections of LittleGreenFootballs and Lucianne.com. However, as the esteemed writers who have contributed previously to this series have pointed out, most conservative bloggers and online columnists at least partially cook their bigotry, and then try to disguise its flavor with some ketchup or a big splash of cheap booze.

Along that line, I thought maybe tonight we could take a look at some of the Salisbury Steak-made-from-rancid-horsemeat bigotry to be found at Townhall.com, that "one-stop mall of ideas" which until recently was part of the Heritage Foundation (and which presumably still gets its share of that sweet, sweet Scaife/Coors loot).

While Townhall features a smorgasbord of conservative bigotry, ranging from the Cheeze-Whiz covered meat of Jonah Goldberg to the chipped-beef-on-white-rice of Michelle Malkin, (and, of course, the juicy, red, meat of Ann Coulter herself), let’s just look at two of Townhall’s most popular columnists, Dr. Mike Adam. Ph.D., and Pastor Doug Giles, and sample some of the favors of the meat they serve up.

First, both are famous for their Carl’s Jr.-style manly hamburgers for guys who are too stupid to feed themselves, and who hate and fear women (or "feminists," as the boys label them). Each guy has produced a six-part series on the subject of how hairy-legged, men-hating, family-destroying, fat, ugly, Marxist feminists are icky and stuff: Dr. Mike’s is called "Why I Don’t Take Feminism Seriously," while Pastor Doug’s is the informative "Raising Boys that Feminists Will Hate" (which apparently means raising a-holes).

Dr. Mike begins Part One of "Why I don’t take feminists seriously" by making the brilliant point that "Daisy" sounds like a stripper’s name:

Dear Daisy: First of all, let me tell you how thrilled I am to receive hate mail from a feminist named “Daisy.” I can’t think of many names – with the possible exceptions of Coco, Mercedes, and Jasmine – that could make you sound less like a feminist and more like a stripper in a club that offers two-dollar table dances.

Yeah, anybody named Daisy should abandon feminism and take up her predestined role as a two-dollar lap dancer.

In Part Two, Dr. Mike accuses feminists of "not caring about racism" because they don’t say anything about how black and Hispanic women get proportionately more abortions than white women do. (Dr. Mike presumably agrees with fellow Townhaller Jennifer Roback Morse that poor black women are having too many illegitimate babies, but, like Dr. Jennifer, he would probably say that the solution is for them to stop having sex, not to allow them to have legal abortions.)

And in Part Six, Mike explains how he was just trying to help an "anti-war feminist" (I guess he could tell she was a feminist by the fact that she disagreed with something he supported) when he told her that:

If she would shave her armpits, people would be more likely to read her anti-war sign when she held it up. As it stood, people were just staring at her hairy armpits.

As Dr. Mike’s erectile dysfunction was caused by feminists (in particular, a feminist in wearing an anti-Bush T-shirt and "leather combat boots and dog collar," and another group of feminists who chanted "vagina, vagina" at him), you will have to excuse his prejudices.

Pastor Doug’s columns about "raising a boy that feminists will hate" is full of equally insightful observations about the castrating power of women (AKA feminists).

Here’s a thought from Part Three:

FYI to mothers and fathers of boys: it is open season on your son in our gyno-centric culture, and the feminists are pushing hard for a no-closed season and no-bag limit. … The feminists and the men who have yielded up their private parts to the lesbians—I mean feminists—have an organized system of male hatred that they just can’t wait to slap your son with.

And here’s a pensee from Part Six:

If you live in the U.S. and you’re a woman or an effeminate guy, then you’ve got to be happier than a hog in fresh mud, because our current culture has been crafted just for you, baby. … The “ladies” that I have a particular problem with are the fecal-fuming feminuts who have a Paul Bunyan sized axe to grind against masculinity and who have boldly worked their man hatred into the main stream media, into our universities and within the church. It is these woMEN whom I, along with millions of other “non progressive” traditional guys and girls, find extremely nauseating

Basically, all women who don’t agree with Mike and Doug are feminists, and all feminists are lesbians (and all lesbians hate men, and are out to destroy your sons)! It’s a conspiracy, I tell ya!

And speaking of those danged effeminate guys (AKA poofsters) and their homosexual agenda, Dr. Mike and Doug hate them too.

At his web site, Dr. Mike explains why:

Any man who allows another man to sodomize him is full of self-loathing. If he is the inserter (rather than the insertee) and prefers to immerse his private parts in fecal matter, he is, perhaps, even more self-loathing. That is why when confronted with any question about, or challenge towards, his conduct he merely screams “you’re gay!” at anyone who will not help him to justify that conduct. That is the reason why gay men are seen by many as the angriest people in our society (with the possible exception of feminists).

Yeah, it’s because of the sodomy that gay men and feminists always seem to be getting mad at Dr. Mike.

In a column entitled "Reading, Writing and Homosexuality?," Doug tells us that it’s not okay for high school kids to be okay with being gay, because this is a democracy.

The progay propaganda and politically correct thought-control spawned by a few, a VERY FEW liberal deconstructionists ought to be radically and unendingly challenged by the 95-plus percent of Americans who think homosexuality is wrong. Parents, teachers and students with beliefs fundamentally different from those of the homosexual proselytizers invading OUR public school system, should make a loud noise about our dissenting views.

We’re the majority and the last time I checked, the majority still rules in the USA.

Do 95%-plus of Americans really believe that gay teens should be taught that they are defective, sinful, and despicable? Well, since Doug was writing an opinion piece, I guess his guess is as good as factual evidence.

Lastly, let’s take a quick look at what Mike and Doug have to say about illegal alien Mexicans, and how their columns seem to reflect the undercooked carne that is so typical of the conservative blogosphere.

In a column lauding the Minutemen (they were finalists in Townhall’s "Citizen of the Year" awards), Dr. Mike explains that he has good reason to hate illegals. See, back when he was in high school, Mike friend Bubba was stabbed after he got in the middle of a knife fight. And the guy who stabbed him wasn’t just a pissed-off young hood, he was an illegal! From Mexico!!! And the knife wasn’t just a knife, it was a switchblade! It was all like something out of West Side Story.

But fortunately, one of Mike’s other friends was a vigilante, and he got justice for Bubba, which is why groups like the Minutemen are so cool. But sadly, liberals just don’t understand, as Dr. Mike illustrates by recounting his imaginary conversation with a made-up Democrat:

Democrat: I’m sorry to interrupt, but could you just tell me one bad thing a so-called illegal alien has done to justify your opposition to opening our borders to them? Could you just name one thing?

Adams: (recounts the 1982 stabbing incident).

Democrat: (rolls his eyes and shrugs his shoulders).

Adams: Wait a second. I just described to you a horrific act of violence committed against an innocent 18 year old – one that almost cost him his life – and all you can do is shrug your shoulders? Do you mean to say you don’t care? What if the act of violence was rape? What if the victim was your daughter? Would you care then?

Democrat: But all illegal aliens aren’t criminals.

Adams: Yes they are.

Democrat: How so?

Adams: Do you have a dictionary handy?

Yeah, what if brown guy raped YOUR daughter?

And that’s why we must all join the Minutemen.

Now, here’s some advice to from Doug’s "Open Letter to Illegal Immigrants":

Let me address mi amigos that want to move into our amazing Land-O-Plenty: Would you mind immigrating legally and learning English? Because, you see, our legal citizens are getting increasingly fed up with your criminal relocation dreams. That’s right. Our American buddies on the Arizona, California, New Mexico and Texas borders are especially sick of . . .

• Having to pick up your pill bottles, used needles and syringes.
• Having to find the half eaten remains of their pets left from one of your impromptu BBQ’s.
• Having their homes burglarized.
• Having their daughters raped.
• Having their vehicles stolen.
• Having their property value plummet.
• Having their sedate streets become unsafe requiring their children to be placed under lock and key after sunset.
• Having to pick up and discard Muslim prayer rugs and literature strafed about the place. [BTW . . . when did so many Catholic Mexicans convert to Islam? I didn’t get that brief. Would you explain that to me?]
• Having the arduous and unpleasant chore of scraping human feces off their front lawns in the morning.

Yeah, we only want Mexicans to immigrate legally and learn English so they will stop eating our pets, stealing our stuff, raping our daughters, pooping on our lawns, making our property values drop, and converting to Islam. Otherwise, we think very highly of our hardworking, religious, family-oriented neighbors to the South.

Anyway, I think that’s enough meat for today. I hope none of you get trichinosis or salmonella from our little visit to Doug and Mike’s buffet.

 
Previous posts in the series:

Right Wing Racism: Steve Sailer by Armando
Educating Wolfie by Pam Spaulding
Let’s Go Real Far Right… by Matt Stoller
Tramsmitting Extremism by David Neiwert
The Fork in the Road — The Right and Race Online by Steve Gilliard
Late Night FDL: A Thin Candy-Coat of Legitimacy by TBogg
What Lies Beneath  by Matt O.
Breaking The Code by Digby
Racist Crusaders Advocate Holy War: The Connection Between Racism, RedState, and the War on Terror by Red Dan
Principia Wingnuttia  by Gavin M.
Fear and Loathing in the Nuttersphere by Kevin K.
See If You Can Figure Out What Malkin Is Saying by Christy Hardin Smith 

Matt O. has also been compiling racist quotes from right-wing websites over at The Great Society.

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