Yellow Elephants and Snickerdoodles

“Sure, three brownies will buy a soldier some socks, but I can’t
drink socks at the Kappa Kappa Kappa kegger. Sorry dude.”
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This is where it all comes together.

Young Republicans who spend half their time complaining about having to share classes with ethnic types (unless they can rebound, in which case, they’re cool) like to have Affirmative Action Bake Sales:

Campus bake sales by conservatives who oppose affirmative-action are cooking up discord — and complaints about restrictions on free speech.

Organizers charge white students $1 for a cookie, while blacks and other minorities pay 25 to 95 cents. Doughnuts are available for 50 cents to everyone except Asian Americans and whites, who cannot purchase them.

Unfair? So is affirmative action, organizers contend.

“It’s a good example of what affirmative action does, judging people based on race,” said Jason Chambers, president of the University of Washington College Republicans, which held a sale in October that shut down when some students began attacking the booth.

“People were upset. People did feel offended,” said Anthony Rose, president of the UW Black Student Union. “You see something like that, you feel itemized.”

In September, Southern Methodist University shut down a similar event by the Young Conservatives of Texas.

When not holding bake sales, campus Republicans like to support our troops. Now they don’t support our troops by, you know, enlisting so that some of our troops can get away from multiple tours of duty, but they do support them by waving flags at picnics and not questioning their Commander in Chief, which helps them sleep well at night in their comfortable beds. Flag wavin’ and picnicking being hard work and all.

Now we see that the hospitals where soldiers who have been wounded in Iraq are in need of basic neccessities that our government can’t supply because they’ve been blowing all their Iraq cash on propaganda to convince us that we’re winning.

The Landstuhl Hospital Care Project added $4,400 to its coffers April 7 to buy items needed by wounded, injured and sick servicemembers at Landstuhl Regional Medical Center, Germany, and hospitals in Iraq and Afghanistan, according to Karen Grimord, the project’s coordinator.

The money was raised during the “Hook & C’s Karaoke” 2nd annual benefit, held here this year at American Legion Post 364….

If we could only get those Young Republicans to start having Support The Guys Who Fight Because We Won’t Bake Sales, we might just be able to make it so that our wounded service people don’t have to share towels anymore.

And remember: they’re not Rice Krispie Treats. They’re Sticky Iraqi Freedom Treats. That makes them easier to swallow.

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....