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'Mr. Hetero' sues over security bill

Holy roller and manly man, Rev. Thomas Crouse of Holland Congregational Church and creator and emcee of the Mr. Hetero contest (see posts, here and here) is suing Worcester, MA because the police department sent him a bill for providing security for the event. (365gay):

Mr. Heterosexual 2006 – A Celebration of God’s Design” drew heavy criticism from LGBT civil rights groups, local politicians and the Human Rights Commission.

As opposition mounted Crouse asked for five police officers to provide security, but after Police Chief Gary J. Gemme met with Norma Sandison, executive director of Mechanics Hall the security detail was beefed up to 20 officers. A handful of protesters demonstrated outside the hall on Feb 18 as the event went on and the number of people inside the hall was reportedly sparse.

When Rev. Crouse got the bill for the police detail he decided to go to court.

Supported by the Alliance Defense Fund, an Arizona legal group that fights against LGBT issues across the country, Crouse says in his lawsuit that his constitutional right to free speech was violated by the heavy police presence. Crouse also claims that police were responsible for the low turnout at the event.

Bahahahahahahahaha. Yes, right Tom. The streets would have been teeming with folks waiting to get in to watch events such as the The Best Use of Duct Tape, Name the Food and Strength (tearing up Oprah’s O magazine) events.

I have to repost a snippet of an on-the-scene report from the Worcester Independent’s Mike Benedetti.

One could not help but note three major Hetero things that were missing from this pageant:

* The Three Stooges
* Procreation
* Anything that might lead to procreation

…Crouse described the Mr. Hetero competition as the “First ever. Last ever too, the way this one is going.”

The PA played Queen’s “We Are the Champions” and Crouse sang along. (How is this resisting the Gay Menace?)

My recommendations for future Mr. Heteros:

* Make the thing a celebration of heterosexuality. Nix the stuff about being saved from homosexuality. It derails the event, and attracts protesters.

* Find some way to not have to pay $6500 for police protection. Otherwise you’ll end up deep in the red.

* Hold it in a church rather than a concert hall. You’re not going to get enough people to fill the hall. There was a monster truck rally this weekend, which attracted all the real heteros.

* Don’t ask people to pay to watch a bunch of amateur hams goof around on stage. It’s kind of entertaining, but this stuff should be free, not $12 .

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Pam Spaulding

Pam Spaulding