CommunityPam's House Blend

Princess Barbie Talibania's Vagina Monologue


My favorite rising star in the American Taliban, Princess Barbie Talibania of Boise, Idaho, is so kind to send me periodic e-mails, just to let me know what’s happening in her crusades to allow government controlled mandatory procreation, enshrine and idolize Christian scripture in our courts of law and public spaces, ensure godly end-of-life suffering by sparing brain-dead and terminally-ill people from the choice of checking out humanely and with dignity, and maintain the virginity of our teenagers by denying them birth control and sex education in favor of “Just Say No”

I have a fetish for sexually-repressed hot Christian chicks. You can read previous posts on Bible Brandi Swindell at:
Brandi’s important resolution for 2006
Princess Barbie Talibania for Scalito… but he doesn’t have any sort of agenda, you know
Barbie’s Been Busy
Princess Brandi Talibania goes down by 10,000 votes
Ten Commandments fight shifts to Boise

Her latest update must be causing severe cognitive dissonance for her poor vagina. On the one hand, it’s got to be positively moist about the Scalito court taking up the dialation-and-extraction abortion case (the Nebraska state law on banning the procedure that was declared unconstitutional because it made no allowances for the health of the mother… hey, sometimes God has to kill a few pregnant women to make sure that procreation is enforced.) But on the other hand, her vagina must be itchy and smelly with the thought of college women actually talking about vaginas. That could lead to those women wanting to do put something more interesting than a tampon in there!

US Supreme Court to Hear Partial Birth Abortion Case

The Supreme Court announced yesterday that it would rule on the constitutionality of a ban on the inhumane practice of partial-birth abortion. [Partial Birth? Is that like “a little bit pregnant”?]

I was in Washington DC during the previous Supreme Court decision regarding partial birth abortion in 2000, Justice Sandra Day O’Connor provided the tie-breaking vote in the 5-4 decision overturning the ban on such abortions.

The High Court got it wrong in the 2000 Stenberg v. Carhart decision, which overturned a Nebraska law banning partial birth abortion.

President Bush signed a law banning such abortions in November 2003, but activist judges in the states of California, Nebraska and New York overturned the law. [Damn activist judges, interpreting the Constitution and all that! How dare they try to provide an exception to the ban when the life of the mother is in danger!]

I applaud the U.S. Supreme Court’s decision to hear arguments in the partial birth abortion case, Gonzales v. Carhart. Sandra Day O’Connor cast the deciding vote in the Stenberg case. O’Connor was replaced last month by conservative Justice Samuel Alito, who appears likely to join Justices Scalia, Thomas, Roberts and Kennedy in upholding the federal partial birth abortion ban at issue in Gonzales. We must hope and pray for a just decision to outlaw this barbaric practice. […and instead return to good ol’ family values, like our women dying in childbirth. If it was good enough for the pioneers of the 19th century, it’s good enough for us!]

It is clear that an overwhelming majority of Americans oppose partial birth abortion. The Supreme Court will hear the arguments for the 2003 law banning partial birth abortions this Fall and the court’s possible 5-4 decision upholding such a law will probably be issued before the 2006 elections.

Can you say “wedge issues” boys and girls? I thought that you could. Iraq is a civil war, Iran wants nukes, Afghanistan is a narco-terrorist state (again), Palestine is ruled by Hamas, Dubai is running our ports, China is holding our debt, North Korea is batshit crazy, New Orleans and the Gulf Coast are still a disaster area, our soldiers and journalists are dying in Mesopotamia, we have the greatest budget deficits and oil company profits in history, seniors are being shafted by the new Medicare plan, and more people are in poverty than ever before… and God’s Oil Party and wingnuts like Princess Talibania are overwrought about a rarely-used medical procedure and gay people adopting and marrying (first they’re pissed about rampant anti-family promiscuous queer hedonism, now they can’t have the queers being respectable monogamous family folk) and nakedly unabashed about how that will play out in the upcoming elections.

Could she possibly find a less nationally-pressing issue of importance with which to pimp her Religious Reich street cred? Silly Radical… of course she can, she’s got God in her corner:

Vagina Monologues

I wanted to pass along information about an event at Boise State University this Friday. I was recently contacted by a group of concerned BSU students who informed me that the Women’s Center is sponsoring and promoting a production called The Vagina Monologues. To promote this production the Women’s Center has sold vagina shaped lollipops on campus! Is this what higher education is about? [Eek! Vagina shaped lollipops! Everyone knows lollipops are supposed to be testicle shaped and popsicles are supposed to be penis shaped!]

The Vagina Monologues is quite vulgar as women describe their sexual experiences. One portion of the show includes a 13 year old describing her rape by a lesbian as a “good rape.” This message that rape or molestation can be good is absolutely sick.

Er… context dearie, context. The woman is describing her first sexual experience at age 13 at the hands of a 24-year-old woman. Is it rape? Yes, even though the 13-year-old consented. Is it a message that consensual statutory rape is good? Apparently the 13-year-old who grew up to write it thought so… but in the context of the play she’s just describing her sexual experiences. It’s no more “promotion” of rape than, say, an individual voting for George W. Bush is promoting of torture, my Christian friend.

Oh, and another thing – you’re referencing the original Vagina Monolgues performance from 2001, which featured this one vignette entitled “The Little Coochi-Snorter That Could” — one of many of the monologues — and was endlessly blasted through the FOXosphere as an endorsement of rape and a reinforcement of the “gays recruit our kids!” scare tactic (because the protagonist vagina says, “Now I’ll never need a man!”) In 2002, the scene was re-written so the protagonist vagina is 16 and makes no reference to a “good rape”, which in itself, in context, was the girl not understanding how her consenting to get her Coochi-Snorter petted, which felt so good, could possibley be a “rape”.

Jessica Bruton with the campus group Network of Enlightened Women, Brandon Stoker the President of Col
lege Republicans and Jon Sawmiller with the Conservative Student Coalition are coordinating an event to speak out against this production. It seems that BSU students are fed up with the one sided agenda being pushed by the BSU “elite.” Many students are alarmed by the obscene nature of the performance.

This passionate group of students (motivated to take a stand on their campus) are inviting the public to join them demonstrate against the Friday night presentation of the Vagina Monologues.

The education and awareness demonstration will be this Friday, February 24th at the Student Union Building Special Events Center. They will be meeting in the Cataldo room of the SUB at 5:45, then march to the demonstration at 6:15. The event will be from 6:15 pm to 7:15 pm.

Here’s a radical idea: don’t go see the f*cking play! Have you considered that the BSU “elite” (why is it rich conservative people with country club memberships and penthouses always refer to poor liberal college professors as “elite”?) may just be putting on popular, award-winning plays that might draw an audience? I can understand how uptight conservative Christians get their knickers in a bind about women being unashamed of sex and sexuality and openly talking about the parts that God created on them, but why are they so uptight about other people who aren’t uptight about it?

Here’s another radical idea: lobby the “elite” to put on a play you’d like, or raise the funds and the staff to put on a play you’d like. Maybe you could commission a playwright to pen a stage production of “The Passion of the Christ” — there’s a performance utterly reeking of “family values”. Good luck finding one; I understand a lot of those playwrights are – gasp! – homosexuals!

So, in honor of Princess Barbie Talibania’s Virgin Vagina, I present its monologue:

Oh, beautiful body! You are as LORD God created it. Pure and supple, strong yet yielding, my golden hair to my pedicured toes. You are my gift from God, pledged to Jesus, a sacred temple into which no offending substances may enter, no offending thoughts may harbor, and no boys may touch.

You are a marvel of God’s creation. From my smiling face and sparkling eyes, to my lithe arms and flat stomach, to my hips and belly that, someday, God willing, will be fruitful and multiply, to my… Eeek! Oh, disgusting! It’s slimy! Ick! Gross! Gag me with a spoon!

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